Farmer Hall

[footballfan1]

Farmer Hall is actually a 9th grade english teacher in West Virginia :?:

[WALTER4]

fiction...farmerhall never even made it to the 9th grade

[footballfan1]

Come on farmer spill the beans. Are you a english teacher in WV?

[Farmer Hall]

i haint no anglash tichir. i"m a profeshanal agriculturalist and a fann of nbc and tusee montaine sports. i did go to west texis agricultural & minez on a futball skolarship and wuz in the sun bowl in el passoh texis wantsupon a time. i flunket owt after many yeers. only class i past kunsistintly was anglash thow.

[deliverance]

Was that the 1951 Sun Bowl where West Texas A&M won 14-13?

[Farmer Hall]

I spent tha 1950 footbull seazon with tha West Texas A and M sqwad. I did play thar but I niver did ern a litter. My illigitamability was uzed up by the ’50 seazon but I stuck round as kinda a grad assistint though I twasnt in grad scool, I was jist trin ta git my dang diploma after 10 years. Shuld menshun fore ya think im a dummy that my time at A and M was interjected by some time in WWII. Stil, I wuz on the 6 and ahalv year plan.

We had a danged good teem in 50, posiblea are best ever. And we wuz division 1 at that time. We playd in the bordor confrince with arizowna, arizowna state, Texas Western (now Texas lil passo), texas tich, new mexiko n hardin simons. Arizowna state also had a good teem that year n playd in the salad bowl at end of seazon. Texas Western was the favorite but we wnet down thar and kicked thar butts 40-12 and erned the sunbowl bid. Are only loss bleeve it or not wuz to tiny trinity college who was are only non division 1 foe that yeer. We wuz gilty of parteeeing way too mutch when we wnet down thar or we wulda bin underfeated.

Anywayz we wint to ill passo fer tha sunbowl game rite after chrissmas so I wuz in tha chrissmas spirit when this tiny lil feller wuz bein chased by the border patrol down thar. He was this tiny lil mexikan feller and I felt sorry fer him so my buddy, backup offensive takle Jim Bob Harris and me, we stuffed the little bandito (that’s what we cald him) in my sun bowl duffle bag and carred him back ta tha hotel. Tha nixt morning Jim Bob and I woked up and the lil bandito was kickin beer c ans from one endatha room to thaother right betwixt the tv antennars evry time n that’s win we got this idear.

Ya have to understand our kicker, Roy Dunn, was awful and mist too many exter points.
Our backup kicker Jay Silverheels waznt any good neither and he was just an actor fer fakin roughin punter penalteez. Jay would later go on to stardom as “Tonto” on the Lone ranger tv series. So Jim Bob and I got on the teem bus with the lil bandito in my duffle bag and took tha lil feller to the sun bowl stadium with us.

At halftime uv the game, the bandito weren’t in my duffle bag anymore. I wuz taken a poop and heard this scuffel in the poopin stall next to me. Nixt thing I knew that lil bandito wuz cumin outa the stall with our kicker, roy dunn’s eqwipment on! What a wonderful idea, specially since he was so akrate with kickin beer canz. Jim Bob Harris and I winked at each other and seein as how kikers are lonors anyway, nodody noticed sept this guy representin the sun bowl communistee on the sidelines. We told this sun bowl feller the hole store and he just winked and laughed at the idea of the lil bandito having to kick possibly. The fellers name, I’ll never forget it, was Tex Avery.

We wuz down to Cincincinati 13-7 in the second half when our all-amerikan qwarter back Gene Mayfield hit Bill Cross with a sixty-nine yard touchdewn pass to tie it up. Mayfield, I shuld menshun went onto coaching greatness and iz credited with being the initiator of “mojo” at Odessa Permian where he coached and won state titles. I never ran into him again till our team reunion many years later. Anywayz, With that mr. avery feller laughin his butt off, I did my job as the stewdent assistant and sent the lil bandito on fer the konversion. It wazn’t only straight as an arrow that Jay Silverheels (secont stringer kicker) coulda shot (but never kicked hehehe!) but it went clear outa the sunbowl and rumer has it hit that same border patrolman that was chasin the lil bandito right in the ole schnoz.

The place went wild and we carried the lil bandito around the field with the sunbowl trofie. Coach Kimbrough knew sumthin was up and new I was responsible cuz I was always in trouble. He told me later in life that I shulda been casted as gomer pyle in sum popular tv series that came out a fiw years after that game and always enjoyed me bringin him dairy treets from pensylvania after breaks. Fact iz I suspict that’s why he kep me around aktuwally.

Anywayz that iz why I was aktuwally probablee the mvp of the sunbowl cuz I got us a danged kicker on the streets of ill paso pryor to the game.

Oh, and that there tex avery guy. Saw where that sucker made a mint creatin sum tv commercial for frito lay starring a frito bandito that looked just like the lil fella that kikt the winning exter pwoint.

As fer my roomie Jim Bob Harris. Last I heard he was on a shrimpin boat in LaWeezyAnna working for a guy name of forest grump.