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As Karnac the Magnificent would say......."Mandate".......What is it that Ellen DeGeneres and her kind wish they were attractive enough to get?".....man-date. Ba-dum-bum!

good one.!

[quote="Lemmy";p="114221"]Rep. John Dingell (D-MI):

"Madam Speaker, I have a little poem.

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the House,
no bills were passed `bout which Fox News could grouse.
Tax cuts for the wealthy were passed with great cheer,
so vacations in St. Barts soon should be near.

Katrina kids were all nestled snug in motel beds,
while visions of school and home danced in their heads.
In Iraq, our soldiers need supplies and a plan,
and nuclear weapons are being built in Iran.

Gas prices shot up, consumer confidence fell.
Americans feared we were in a fast track to ..... well.
Wait, we need a distraction, something divisive and wily,
a fabrication straight from the mouth of O'Reilly.

We will pretend Christmas is under attack,
hold a vote to save it, then pat ourselves on the back.
Silent Night, First Noel, Away in the Manger,
Wake up Congress, they're in no danger.

This time of year, we see Christmas everywhere we go,
From churches to homes to schools and, yes, even Costco.
What we have is an attempt to divide and destroy
when this is the season to unite us with joy.

At Christmastime, we're taught to unite.
We don't need a made-up reason to fight.
So on O'Reilly, on Hannity, on Coulter and those right-wing blogs.
You should sit back and relax, have a few egg nogs.

'Tis the holiday season; enjoy it a pinch.
With all our real problems, do we really need another Grinch?
So to my friends and my colleagues, I say with delight,
a Merry Christmas to all, and to Bill O'Reilly, happy holidays.
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas."[/quote]

Wasn't Dingell the one that failed in any of his little talks yesterday to even mention the success of the vote in Iraq? Could've been Schummer, but either way, talk about trying to head off a story......... All he could talk about was the CIA leak investigation yesterday when you had the people of Iraq (10 million of them - 70%) showing up at polls to move democracy along. Yep, only Republicans try to shift to another story.

I heard an interview with an Iraqi woman who had just left the polls. She was quoted as saying, (think Iraqi accent with not-quite fluent English), "EEf dee Iraqi peepull do not appreciate AMERICA, and President Bush, dey can GO TO HELL!

> Subject: History of the World
>
> A clever variation on history... It's worth a yuck or two whether
> you're liberal or conservative.
>
>
> Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers.
> They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the
> coast and live on fish, oysters and lobster in winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention
> of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get
> Man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
> distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the
> beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
> invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around
> waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
> That's how villages were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at
> night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
> known as the "Conservative Movement."
>
> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
> off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQs and doing the
> sewing, fetching and hair dressing.
> This was the beginning of "the Liberal movement". Some of these
> liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as
> 'girliemen.'
>
> Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
> the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of
> Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
> conservatives provided.
>
> Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
> most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are
> symbolized by the jackass.
> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
> prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
> their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal
> fare.
>
> Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women
> have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers,
> personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
> therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter
> rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still
> provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
> cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
> police officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and generally
> anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire
> other
> conservatives who want to work for a living.
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the
> producers and decide what to do with their production. Liberals believe
> Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the
> liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.
> They
> crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying
> to get MORE for nothing.
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that
> a Liberal may have a momentary urge to respond to the above before
> simply giggling and forwarding it. A Conservative will be so convinced
> of
> the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded
> immediately to other "true believers."