BleacherCoaches.com

"I fight toof n' nail. I fight hammer to hammer from the human perspective."

Give me a T!

T!

Give me a OOF!

OOF!

Give me an N!

N!

Give me a NAIL!

NAIL!

What's that spell?

TOOF N NAIL!!!!!

That's right, ladies, the TNN is back on BC. Last week, my rival and I both went undefeated!!! 50-0!!! We are looking to match those awesome stats this week as we clobber more NCAA action.


TUESDAY 09/30/08:
=====================
FLORIDA ATLANTIC VS. MIDDLE TENNESSEE:
DECIBEL: This one is for you, Kmetz.
CHRISTOPHURIOUS: Give me Abe Kmetz eating 2 double Schnellenbergers with extra mayo.

WEDNESDAY 10/01/08:
======================
LOUISIANA TECH VS. BOISE STATE:
DECIBEL: You know who wins this? Brian Knobbs and Jerry Saggs... THE NASTY BOYSE!!!!!!!
CHRISTOPHURIOUS: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOOOYSE

THURSDAY 10/02/08:
=====================
PITT VS. SOUTH FLORIDA:
DECIBEL: Colassal egglayers USF are primed and ready to do it once again. However... give me USF because Pitt's coaches are completely incompetent.
CHRISTOPHURIOUS: USF

MEMPHIS VS. UAB:
DECIBEL: Like I said last week... Arkelon Hall is Memphistopheles.
CHRISTOPHURIOUS: UAB

OREGON ST VS. UTAH:
DECIBEL: Check out the poem I wrote: An oregon state team with a bad QB, results in a utah victor-y!
CHRISTOPHURIOUS: Utah





more to come

Notice my hated rival has yet to do his picks. It is in retaliation for how badly i beat his mother at Guitar Hero last night.

hahaha.

FRIDAY 10/03/08:
====================
CINCINNATI VS. MARSHALL:
DECIBEL: Tough call, tough call. Gotta think about this for a bit.
CHRISTOPHURIOUS:

BYU VS. UTAH STATE:
DECIBEL: There's a special place in my heart for Utah State, and a special place in hell for every Mormon. But picks are picks and that is that. BYU by 80. I really wish I could like BYU. 'September Dawn'. Rent it.
CHRISTOPHURIOUS:

TAE, how did you not pick Pitt? I know Wanny knows nothing about coaching talent, but still a highly ranked team on ESPN on a Thursday night; it's a given. The upset is going to occur. Oregon State even found a way to win over USC on a Thursday night, but they didn't look as good last night against the Utes.

Sorry Suckers! Mid Term in the Nine Weeks here in Shippensburg, and we had a hard loss tonight... Time to make a long week a great weekend by using my homekeys to blast TAEs teeth out.



Duke (3-1, 1-0 ACC) v. Georgia Tech (3-1, 1-1 ACC)

I have a serious issue with Paul Johnson's offense, and absoulely no issue with Duke. Sounds rational to me!

Blue Devils


Indiana (2-2, 0-1 Big Ten) v. Minnesota (4-1, 0-1 Big Ten)

Indiana Seriously let me down last week against Michigan State.. I think Minnesota is more than likely the worst 4-1 team in the country, but still better than the movie Hoosiers.

Gophers.



Rutgers (1-3, 0-1 away) v. West Virginia (2-2, 2-0 home)

Eers.. Huge..


(6) Penn St (5-0, 1-0 Big Ten) vs. Purdue (2-2, 2-1 home)

I love the Nittany Lions more than I love complex carbohydrate, Hawaiin pizza, cookie dough, and my girlfriend's rump all rolled into one. That being said, dont expect a blowout..

Nittany Roar by 10



(16) Kansas (3-1, 0-1 away) vs. Iowa St (2-2, 2-0 home)

If Kansas knew any better, they would avoid close games at all costs.. Lord knows we dont need ANOTHER reason to hasten Mangino's coronary attack.

Jayhawks by 3



Alcorn St (1-4, 0-1 SWAC) vs. New Mexico St (1-2, 0-1 home)

New Mexico state.. duh?


UNLV (3-2, 0-1 MWC) vs. Colorado St (2-2, 2-0 home)

Colorado State in the flawless connection of a sweet green and ram horns shall rear back deliver the death blow. Suck one, Kenny The Jet!


Ohio (1-4, 0-1 MAC) vs. Western Michigan (4-1, 2-0 MAC)

Bobcats on the prowl..

Ohio, or spelled backwards, ohiO





Army (0-4, 0-1 away) vs. Tulane (2-2, 1-1 C-USA)

Army.. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seirously, Seriously.. Green Wave by 8 TDs and a Safety



Illinois (2-2, 0-1 Big Ten) vs. Michigan (2-2, 1-0 Big Ten)

I want Ron Zooker's to do good, so the PSU win looks better.. And i want Michigan to be terrible, because, frankly, i dont want to see RichRod ever win gain. Cant get easier than that.



Kentucky (4-0, 1-0 away) vs. (2) Alabama (5-0, 2-0 SEC)

I'm blown away be the job Snakeaban has done in just 18 games at Alabama. Im even more blown away kentucky lost Andre Woodson and won every game it's played this season. Truck Stops Here.

Roll Tide

(7) Texas Tech (4-0, 1-0 away) vs. Kansas St (3-1, 3-0 home)

There is a direct Correlation between Texas Tech NOT throwing for 500 yards/game, NOT putting up 70 against mid major teams, and me NOT really caring about what they do this year. I miss the good old days of them blowing out teams they should beat soundly and losing to anyone with a decent run game and sticky cornerbacks. Please, Mike, Find a Redshirt Senior to throw the ball 60 times a game, play a powederpuff non conference, make all of those teams pay, and lose every game that really counts.. Just one more time..

Texas Tech by 3



Eastern Michigan (1-4, 0-2 MAC) vs. Bowling Green (2-2, 0-1 home)

Sweet unis over EMUs any day


Nevada (2-2, 1-1 away) vs. Idaho (1-4, 0-1 WAC)

Dont turn ur back on the Wolfpack, you might wind up in a body bag..



San Diego St (1-3, 0-2 away) vs. TCU (4-1, 1-0 MWC)

Horned Frogs


Florida International (1-3, 1-2 away) vs. North Texas (0-4, 0-1 home)

TAEs alma matter in the somehow-an-upset



Louisiana-Lafayette (1-3, 0-3 away) vs. Louisiana-Monroe (1-3, 1-1 home)

When in doubt, chose Against USL.

Monroe


Northern Illinois (2-2, 1-1 MAC) vs. Tennessee (1-3, 0-2 SEC)

Unbelievable that the Vols have only one squeaker win this year.. and it came against UAB. Lets see how the 2 qb system works this week..

Tenessee by 2




Ball St (5-0, 2-0 MAC) vs. Toledo (1-3, 1-0 MAC)

Bizzle Stizzle!


Washington (0-4, 0-2 Pac-10) vs. Arizona (3-1, 1-0 Pac-10)

Expect Arizona to put up 70 for the Second time this season


Rice (3-2, 2-0 C-USA) vs. Tulsa (4-0, 1-0 C-USA)

Expect a total score in the 90s. Rice games are quickly becoming my favorite, with the seriousness of Texas Tech, the death of Hawaii and the irrellavence of June Jones in SMU.

Tulsa 56-42


(4) Missouri (4-0, 0-0 away) vs. Nebraska (3-1, 3-1 home)

Mizzou hasnt won in Lincoln in 30 years. THE STREAK CONTINUES! UPSET SPECIAL! NEBRAKSA OVER MIZZOU!

Hawaii (1-3, 0-1 WAC) vs. (22) Fresno St (3-1, 0-1 home)

as TAE quoted Corso: Hawaii doesnt win many games in the United States.

Bulldogs by 35

12:00 PM ET
Iowa (3-2, 0-1 Big Ten)
Michigan St (4-1, 1-0 Big Ten)


Boston College (3-1, 0-1 ACC) vs. North Carolina St (2-3, 0-1 ACC)

Wow.. Boston College and Tom Obrien.. nothing like a game i wont watch and dont care who wins.

BC


Akron (2-3, 0-1 MAC) vs. Kent St (1-4, 0-1 MAC)

Kent in the upset.

(12) Florida (3-1, 1-1 SEC) vs. Arkansas (2-2, 0-1 SEC)

Bobby Petrino has two incredibly embarassing losses, two incredibly embarrassing close wins, and eternal damnation to hell as his rewards for taking this job.

(1) Oklahoma (4-0, 1-0 away) vs. Baylor (2-2, 2-1 home)

I dont know which is better at slaughtering bears, Rod Debias or the Oklahoma Sooners!

1:30 PM ET
Western Kentucky (2-3, 1-3 away) vs. (20) Virginia Tech (4-1, 2-0 ACC)

I thought WKU would give Kentucky a run for it's money. I'm still clinging to the past 20 years and saying VT is better than Kentucky.. That being said, Beamer Ball by 60

South Carolina (3-2, 0-2 SEC) vs. Mississippi (3-2, 1-1 SEC)

Ok, so Smelley is getting the start? That sounds like it Stinks for the Ball Coach.

Rebels Ride On.

Stanford (3-2, 2-1 Pac-10) vs. Notre Dame (3-1, 3-0 home)

I went back and forth on this a few times.. I guess I'm going to take Notre Dame.. But total upset alert. Stanford gave them problems last year, and Chuckles Weiss is a real life turd bag. That being said, Stanford keeps proving again and again it's stanford and ND has won 2 games against teams i thought they had no business beating..

Domers

Arizona St (2-2, 1-0 Pac-10) vs. California (3-1, 1-0 Pac-10)

Screw you, Sundevils! Cal will win by 35, and then probably still manage to be barely bowl elegable


Temple (1-4, 0-2 MAC) vs. Miami (OH) (1-3, 1-1 home)

I'm not giving up on the Owls yet.. Sorry MOHO..

Southern Methodist (1-4, 0-2 C-USA) vs. UCF (1-3, 0-1 C-USA)

Sucks Morethananyoneinthe Universe vs. Unbelievably Crappy Football in what is sure to be a lobsided turnover fest that SMU probably has no chance at winning.


Florida St (3-1, 0-1 ACC) vs. Miami (FL) (2-2, 0-1 ACC)

Florida State accidently put more than 20 on the board against an FBS team and the U lost to its Savior on a last second pick. If the universe loves me as much as i hope it does, the canes will take this one..


Navy (3-2, 1-2 away) vs. Air Force (3-1, 1-1 MWC)

Awesome.. Two service academys.. Wake me when airforce goes up by 35

(13) Auburn (4-1, 2-1 SEC) vs. (19) Vanderbilt (4-0, 2-0 SEC)

I honestly never thought i would see the day where Vanderbilt, Uconn, BYU, Boise, Utah, and South Florida were all in the Top 25 AT THE SAME TIME and Nebraska, Miami, Notre Dame, and Florida State WERE NOT! Wow.. College football sucks..

Auburn.. I hope..?


(24) Connecticut (5-0, 1-0 Big East) vs. North Carolina (3-1, 1-1 ACC)

Butch got them Boys believing, and the Kodiaks are without their number 1 qb. Gimme the Heels.. Hopefully in all powder blue.


Maryland (4-1, 1-0 ACC) vs. Virginia (1-3, 0-1 ACC)

WIll someone please explain to me how Virginia won a game this year? Who did they play? the Altoona Curve?

Maryland by 7 dozen.



UTEP (1-3, 1-0 C-USA) vs. Southern Miss (2-2, 0-1 C-USA)

Un Talented at Every Position travels to Favreland and will receive a 16 point beatin'.



Texas A&M (2-2, 1-0 away)vs. 21) Oklahoma St (4-0, 3-0 home)

Its about Time OK St enters the top 25. Boys real big.




(5) Texas (4-0, 1-0 away) vs. Colorado (3-1, 3-0 home)

Do the Buffalos have a real Buffalo run around the field? Do i need to continue typing this prediction?

Bufs.

(23) Oregon (4-1, 2-0 Pac-10) vs. (9) USC (2-1, 0-1 Pac-10)

SC may be in another nail biter or too this season, but with the Ducks having beat them last year, and this game being at the Collaseum, expect them to shove up their finger and deliver the Dirty Sanchez!

SC by 53


(14) Ohio St (4-1, 1-0 Big Ten)
(18) Wisconsin (3-1, 0-1 Big Ten)

Ohio state hasnt looked impressive ONCE this season. Game's at Madison, and it least the Badgers blew out someone this week..

Badgers


Wyoming (2-3, 0-2 MWC)
New Mexico (2-3, 0-1 MWC)

Is it possible for me to NOT choose Wyoming or Idaho to lose by 90?

No.

Washington St (1-4, 0-2 Pac-10) vs. UCLA (1-3, 0-1 Pac-10)

Nuehisel Bruin up some punishment for the cougars

HOOODEEE WHOOOOOOOO

Saturday picks, homies!

Duke (3-1, 1-0 ACC) v. Georgia Tech (3-1, 1-1 ACC)

Ramblin' Wreck at home!


Indiana (2-2, 0-1 Big Ten) v. Minnesota (4-1, 0-1 Big Ten)

I'll take a can of that cool, refreshing Minne Soda. Ahhhhhh. Tastes maroon-y

Rutgers (1-3, 0-1 away) v. West Virginia (2-2, 2-0 home)

For some reason my hated rival loves Bill Stewart. I'll take WVU because a woman in Morgantown gave me directions to Uniontown one time.


(6) Penn St (5-0, 1-0 Big Ten) vs. Purdue (2-2, 2-1 home)

The only thing better than Evan Royster is Evan Royster in a Slayer tee.


(16) Kansas (3-1, 0-1 away) vs. Iowa St (2-2, 2-0 home)

Sooner or later the KU players are going to get exhausted from having to roll Mangino into the stadium each week. They'll win this one by 1.


Alcorn St (1-4, 0-1 SWAC) vs. New Mexico St (1-2, 0-1 home)

I hate Steve McNair and I hate Alcorn State. NMSU by 7.


UNLV (3-2, 0-1 MWC) vs. Colorado St (2-2, 2-0 home)

Viva.... Viva... VIVAAAAA LAAAS VEGAASSSSSSSSSSSSS


Ohio (1-4, 0-1 MAC) vs. Western Michigan (4-1, 2-0 MAC)

Everybody is sleeping on the Broncos. WMU by 30.


Army (0-4, 0-1 away) vs. Tulane (2-2, 1-1 C-USA)

I like this pick the same way I like my women: green and Cajun


Illinois (2-2, 0-1 Big Ten) vs. Michigan (2-2, 1-0 Big Ten)

Hey ya hey ya hey ya hey ya. Thats Ron Zook doing a Rain Dance for his defense. Gimme the Fightin' Zookers on the road!


Kentucky (4-0, 1-0 away) vs. (2) Alabama (5-0, 2-0 SEC)

Kentucky is undefeated? I DONT THINK SO!


(7) Texas Tech (4-0, 1-0 away) vs. Kansas St (3-1, 3-0 home)

Congratulations to Texas Tech AD for putting together the worst schedule on Earth and getting away with it. Tech but not by a lot.


Eastern Michigan (1-4, 0-2 MAC) vs. Bowling Green (2-2, 0-1 home)

Daniel Holtzclaw, this Bud's for you, bud. But you ain't winnin this game.


Nevada (2-2, 1-1 away) vs. Idaho (1-4, 0-1 WAC)

Colin Kaepernick is Kevin Nash, Jacknife powerbombing Idaho all over the place.


San Diego St (1-3, 0-2 away) vs. TCU (4-1, 1-0 MWC)

Someone on TheLoveOfSports.com got on my *** for saying Chuck Long deserves to be fired in my "Why We Love San Diego State" article. Then some idiot argued with me over All the Right Moves. I'll tell ya who has all the right moves: Me. In addition to me, Tom Cruise and Craig T. Nelson. In addition to all of us, Don Bailey and Chuck Sponsky. Then on top of that we all bag us some dead Aztecs. What the hell am I even talking about. TCU.


Florida International (1-3, 1-2 away) vs. North Texas (0-4, 0-1 home)

Although I DO feel Giovanni Vizza is PROBABLY the best Italian quarterback in the Sun Belt, I do feel FIU is a better team. FIU is better than them!


Louisiana-Lafayette (1-3, 0-3 away) vs. Louisiana-Monroe (1-3, 1-1 home)

Lafayette vs. Monroe. This takes me back a few years to a game where Brent Musberger called this game a derogatory term. Game ended up going into the 50's and was the best game of the weekend. This is a storied Fun Belt rivalry. Gotta go with the man you can trust: Charlie Weatherbie. Lafayette.


Northern Illinois (2-2, 1-1 MAC) vs. Tennessee (1-3, 0-2 SEC)

Jonathon Crompton, you are the weakest link. This actually might go in favor of No Illy. Give me Tennessee at home.


Ball St (5-0, 2-0 MAC) vs. Toledo (1-3, 1-0 MAC)

RAWHHH RAWWHHHHHH thats a cardinal attacking a rocket in mid air and tearing out the explosives. Gotta keep on ridin' the Ball State train.


Washington (0-4, 0-2 Pac-10) vs. Arizona (3-1, 1-0 Pac-10)

Jack Locker sucks and Ty Willingham is an idiot.


Rice (3-2, 2-0 C-USA) vs. Tulsa (4-0, 1-0 C-USA)

I love Tulsa and I love that QB. Good strong football player man, yessa.


(4) Missouri (4-0, 0-0 away) vs. Nebraska (3-1, 3-1 home)

No upset special, Debiceps. Hear those gears shifting? That's Chase Daniel puttin' the hammer down in Lincoln.


Hawaii (1-3, 0-1 WAC) vs. (22) Fresno St (3-1, 0-1 home)

"Hawaii doesn't win many games in the United States." - Lee Corso. Gimme Fresno.


Iowa (3-2, 0-1 Big Ten) vs. Michigan St (4-1, 1-0 Big Ten)

Well, apparently my opponent decided he wasnt going to pick this game, but I am not a coward like he is. I'm a man you can trust and I have a haircut you can set your watch to. MSU by 14.


Boston College (3-1, 0-1 ACC) vs. North Carolina St (2-3, 0-1 ACC)

Boston College sucks. But NC State is still in my doghouse for firing Amato.


Akron (2-3, 0-1 MAC) vs. Kent St (1-4, 0-1 MAC)

The battle for Ohio rages on!!!!! Akron!!!!


(12) Florida (3-1, 1-1 SEC) vs. Arkansas (2-2, 0-1 SEC)

God, Florida by a million.


(1) Oklahoma (4-0, 1-0 away) vs. Baylor (2-2, 2-1 home)

Oklahoma has the most obnoxious fight song in the universe and I love that their mascot is a wagon.


1:30 PM ET
Western Kentucky (2-3, 1-3 away) vs. (20) Virginia Tech (4-1, 2-0 ACC)

Tyrod Taylor will find a way to make this game 10-7 in favor of the Hokies.


South Carolina (3-2, 0-2 SEC) vs. Mississippi (3-2, 1-1 SEC)

Steve Spurrier is the reason SC sucks and Ole Miss is the best team no one thinks is any good. Ole Miss.


Stanford (3-2, 2-1 Pac-10) vs. Notre Dame (3-1, 3-0 home)

ND wins when Weis's colostomy bag of a body spills on the field and Tavita Pritchard falls in it.


Arizona St (2-2, 1-0 Pac-10) vs. California (3-1, 1-0 Pac-10)

God, I hate Arizona State, and their ridiculous uniforms. Cal by 1.


Temple (1-4, 0-2 MAC) vs. Miami (OH) (1-3, 1-1 home)

I'll take Moho at home-ho.


Southern Methodist (1-4, 0-2 C-USA) vs. UCF (1-3, 0-1 C-USA)

I'm gonna take SMU. No real explanation why.


Florida St (3-1, 0-1 ACC) vs. Miami (FL) (2-2, 0-1 ACC)

Best quote ever: Ray Lewis: "This aint about that boy layin' dead in the street." Canes need this one and get it.


Navy (3-2, 1-2 away) vs. Air Force (3-1, 1-1 MWC)

Navy on the road.


(13) Auburn (4-1, 2-1 SEC) vs. (19) Vanderbilt (4-0, 2-0 SEC)

Chris Nixson sucks, folks. Get ready to watch Vandy lose this one by 20+.


(24) Connecticut (5-0, 1-0 Big East) vs. North Carolina (3-1, 1-1 ACC)

Anyone who has ever seen or heard Randy Edsall speak knows he has an IQ lower than his show size. UNC by 20.


Maryland (4-1, 1-0 ACC) vs. Virginia (1-3, 0-1 ACC)

Maryland's QB has Napoleon Dynamite hair. Maryland by 30, obviously.


UTEP (1-3, 1-0 C-USA) vs. Southern Miss (2-2, 0-1 C-USA)

USM is really lettin' me down this season. I'll take them, though.


Texas A&M (2-2, 1-0 away)vs. 21) Oklahoma St (4-0, 3-0 home)

I'm a man, I'm 5-0!


(5) Texas (4-0, 1-0 away) vs. Colorado (3-1, 3-0 home)

If Colt McCoy rides the Longhorn and they skewer the buffalo, does that count in 15 yard penalty or did I dream that last night? Texas!


(23) Oregon (4-1, 2-0 Pac-10) vs. (9) USC (2-1, 0-1 Pac-10)

Ducks are quackers w/o a QB.


(14) Ohio St (4-1, 1-0 Big Ten) vs (18) Wisconsin (3-1, 0-1 Big Ten)

Gotta take Ohio State. Hate Wisconsin too much.


Wyoming (2-3, 0-2 MWC) vs. New Mexico (2-3, 0-1 MWC)

Lobos.


Washington St (1-4, 0-2 Pac-10) vs. UCLA (1-3, 0-1 Pac-10)

Maybe those two "geniuses" Chow and Neuheisel can score 10 against WAZZOU. They'll win 10-9.