BleacherCoaches.com

A GREAT ANALOGY!!!! I saw this in an email and I feel it is a must read.

No Child Left Behind in Sports???

The Federal government has announced that all high
school football teams must meet "No Child Left Behind"
legislation beginning next season.

1* No team will be declared a winner, as that will
leave 50% of participants behind.
2* All high schools will be divided into districts
with eight teams per district. Every team must finish
at least 3rd place to be proficient.
3* All teams must score at least 21 points, but no
defense can allow more than 7 points.
4* No tournaments will be held as this would result
in one champion. The BCS experimented with this
concept this season in college football.
5* All teams must make the state playoffs, and all
will win the championship. If a team does not win
the championship, they will be on probation until they
are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.
In a recent experiment, the University of Nebraska
football program modeled this theory.
6* All kids will be expected to have the same football
skills at the same time and in the same conditions.
No exceptions for interest in football, desire in
athletics, genetic abilities or disabilities.... ALL
KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.
7* Talented players will be asked to work out on
their own without instruction, because the coaches
will be using all their instructional time with the
athletes that aren't interested in football, have
limited athletic ability, and whose parents don't
like football.
8* Games will be played year round, but statistics
will only be kept in 4th, 8th, and 11th grades.
9* This will create a New Age of sports where every
school is expected to have the same level of talent
and all teams will reach the same minimal goals. If
no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.

Yabs, the tests comes via a government program called "No Child Left Behind" that will eventually require every student to reach proficiency, otherwise the government will begin running the school system/curriculum. Ask Coach, or someone else who knows more than me, about more detail on the program or research it on the net. It is a pretty retarded program and this analogy is an excellent example of how retarded it is.

OUTCOME-BASED FOOTBALL

EVERYONE WINS! --- EVERYONE SUCCEEDS!



By unanimous vote of the school board, in order that our school district can remain a leader in educational innovation, all district football programs will hereafter be outcome-based.

Cooperative groups (formerly known as "teams") will be selected randomly every week, and will continue to participate in such traditional cooperative activities as "games," but in order for all participants to feel successful, no score will be kept. There will be no "losers." The purpose of such "games" will be for players to learn the process, and the goal of each group will be to finish the "games" at skill levels determined for each individual in conferences attended by student, parents, facilitators (formerly known as "coaches") and any such advocates as the parents may choose.

In order for every participant to have an equal chance to meet the outcomes agreed-upon in the conferences, less-gifted participants will be given extra practice and coaching. During that time, more gifted players will be offered optional enrichment activities, such as tag.

During "games," more gifted participants will remain on the sidelines to help "coach" their less-gifted teammates, who will remain in the game until they achieve the desired outcomes. Participants who fumble, jump offsides, display an uncooperative attitude toward the process or otherwise fail to attain desired outcomes will be gently removed from the "game" - with great care taken not to lower their self-esteem - and taken aside to be remediated by more gifted teammates. (Studies show that this promotes tolerance among the gifted, who will probably be spending the rest of their lives among the less gifted, and must learn skills necessary to live in a society that values lack of achievement.)

Because research by psycho-behavioral experts shows equal recognition results in increased self-esteem for all, every participant will receive a trophy. There will be no scores or statistics kept, no "all-star teams" and no special recognition for superior performance.

CAUTION: Because certain tradition-bound districts may be slower to adopt the outcome-based football model, and instead continue to emphasize the obsolete process of competition and the pursuit of outmoded goals such as excellence and winning, it is strongly advised not to schedule games against schools from such districts.

Those players who are not able to play as well as their teammates (for example, those who are in wheelchairs) will still be expected to perform at a proficient level in all positions. There will be no accommodations for these members during game time, and certainly no funding to assist in their training. If these members hold back the ability of the entire team to win, or if the team simply sucks, the team members will have the opportunity to transfer to another team that may provide more winning opportunities. Funding for equipment will be withheld from those teams who do not win. Coaches will not work on new and improved plays: rather, all time will be spent on the simplest drills.