New Warnings
Posted: April 6th, 2004, 10:49 am
Watch out for these new viruses.
Neither Symantec or McAfee have any solutions for these, yet!
The Al Gore Virus
Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Clinton Virus
Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Bob Dole (aka: Viagra) Virus
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what
it did.
The Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The Mike Tyson Virus
Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands
to re-stabilize around 200 MB.
The Jack Kevorkian Virus
Deletes all old files.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus
Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus
Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Joey Buttafuoco Virus
Only attacks minor files.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
AND THE FAVORITE .
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5" floppy... then discards it through
Windows.
Neither Symantec or McAfee have any solutions for these, yet!
The Al Gore Virus
Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Clinton Virus
Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Bob Dole (aka: Viagra) Virus
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what
it did.
The Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The Mike Tyson Virus
Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands
to re-stabilize around 200 MB.
The Jack Kevorkian Virus
Deletes all old files.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus
Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus
Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Joey Buttafuoco Virus
Only attacks minor files.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
AND THE FAVORITE .
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5" floppy... then discards it through
Windows.