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Delicious chicken-flavored splendor is quickly disappearing from The Ancient Enemy's sight. I gotta get on the ball, man. But I have to give credit where it's due, he definitely called Michigan State, and New Mexico State on the road, even though NMSU's road-record was 0-5. He also took Kent over EMU, which I should have known better than to take Eastern Michigan. It's frustrating living in this skin sometimes. Here's the scores coming into week 12:

TAE (455-200)
DB (454-201)

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Thursday November 18th, 2004:
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Maryland vs. Virginia Tech:
- On a normal year, Maryland dominates an over-rated Virginia Tech squad, which prompts me and my colleague to come on a high school football message board and talk all kinds of trash on Virginia Tech, saying we told you so. However, Tech is not over-hyped, and Maryland is struggling. Gotta go with the Hokeez.

North Texas vs. Arkansas State:
- Had intentions of seeing this one live, up in Arkansas. My friend and I came up with the idea today to skip classes on Thursday and drive up to see this game, and I was sure that ASU was "dead-center between Little Rock and Texarkana". Well... good thing I looked at the map. ASU is definitely in Jonesboro, which isn't too far from Memphis. So a "five hour ride at most" turned into about 8 hours. So, no, I will not be going to see any more UNT games, because they are too far away, especially New Orleans. Besides, if UNT was wearing black pants like they did on Saturday, I'd get up and leave anyway. Expect UNT to win this game, not by a blowout, but something like 29-13. "Super Mario" will have his 200 on the dirt, and people in Denton will come up with even more idiotic theories about how UNT can win the national championship this year with 4 losses. I kid you not, these people will try and tell you that UNT is on the verge of winning a national title. If anyone is living in a college football fantasyworld, it's the people of Denton, Texas. I will never forget last season when I was at the gym and I made an acquaintance who ended up being a strength coach at UNT. He tried to tell me that UNT would beat Air Force and Arkansas. I explained to him that UNT plays in the Sun Belt, and that if you took Arkansas out of the SEC and stuck them in any other conference they'd either win it or be pretty close. He scoffed at this remark, and needless to say, we didn't talk much more after Air Force and Arkansas destroyed North Texas. See, DeBiceps and I have had a few encounters with "strength coaches" in our day, and it's never a pretty sight.

Expanded picks later this week.

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Thursday November 18th, 2004:
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Maryland vs. Virginia Tech:
- Instead of ranting and raving like an idiot, on a very serious note, Frank Beamers mom died last night, which gives every player on the field more incentive to do it for the head man. Tech

North Texas vs. Arkansas State:
- Yeah.. UNT by Twenty Three!


Pain awaits...

Delicious chicken-flavored splendor is quickly disappearing from The Ancient Enemy's sight. I gotta get on the ball, man. But I have to give credit where it's due, he definitely called Michigan State, and New Mexico State on the road, even though NMSU's road-record was 0-5. He also took Kent over EMU, which I should have known better than to take Eastern Michigan. It's frustrating living in this skin sometimes. Here's the scores coming into week 12:

TAE (455-200)
DB (454-201)

=======================
Thursday November 18th, 2004:
=======================

Maryland vs. Virginia Tech:
- On a normal year, Maryland dominates an over-rated Virginia Tech squad, which prompts me and my colleague to come on a high school football message board and talk all kinds of trash on Virginia Tech, saying we told you so. However, Tech is not over-hyped, and Maryland is struggling. Gotta go with the Hokeez.

North Texas vs. Arkansas State:
- Had intentions of seeing this one live, up in Arkansas. My friend and I came up with the idea today to skip classes on Thursday and drive up to see this game, and I was sure that ASU was "dead-center between Little Rock and Texarkana". Well... good thing I looked at the map. ASU is definitely in Jonesboro, which isn't too far from Memphis. So a "five hour ride at most" turned into about 8 hours. So, no, I will not be going to see any more UNT games, because they are too far away, especially New Orleans. Besides, if UNT was wearing black pants like they did on Saturday, I'd get up and leave anyway. Expect UNT to win this game, not by a blowout, but something like 29-13. "Super Mario" will have his 200 on the dirt, and people in Denton will come up with even more idiotic theories about how UNT can win the national championship this year with 4 losses. I kid you not, these people will try and tell you that UNT is on the verge of winning a national title. If anyone is living in a college football fantasyworld, it's the people of Denton, Texas. I will never forget last season when I was at the gym and I made an acquaintance who ended up being a strength coach at UNT. He tried to tell me that UNT would beat Air Force and Arkansas. I explained to him that UNT plays in the Sun Belt, and that if you took Arkansas out of the SEC and stuck them in any other conference they'd either win it or be pretty close. He scoffed at this remark, and needless to say, we didn't talk much more after Air Force and Arkansas destroyed North Texas. See, DeBiceps and I have had a few encounters with "strength coaches" in our day, and it's never a pretty sight.

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Saturday November 20th, 2004:
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Oklahoma vs. Baylor:
- Here's a prediction: After the game, Bob Stoops says: "What's all this crappola about Auburn jumping us in the BCS standings? We just beat ANOTHER awesome football team." Interviewer: "You gave up 30 points to Baylor, and beat them 48-30." Stoops: "The SEC sucks, stop asking me about Auburn. I know all about you, interviewer. You have a media contract with Baylor, and that's why you're interviewing me." "What the he** are you talkin' about?" "Stop asking me about Cadillac Williams, didn't you hear what I just said?" Yeah, OU by 25.

Wake Forest vs. Miami:
- Miami, closer than it should be.

Boston College vs. Temple:
- As much as I think Temple is the best team in the Big East, I just don't see them winning this one.

Buffalo vs. Connecticut:
- UCONN.

Illinois vs. Northwestern:
- For a team who has talent, the Illini sure don't like winning football games. NW by 13.

North Carolina vs. Duke:
- If Dick Vitale saw this matchup on a flyer, he'd already be in the bathroom getting better aquainted with his anatomy. "It's the Tarheels, babbbyyyyy and I'm still not funny and I'm an idiot!"

Michigan State vs. Penn State:
- Shed a tear for Poopsie Snyder. He is like that crying Indian when those rascals throw thrash at the Indian's feet. Only Big Poops is crying while Mills throws his 11th pick and the defense still only gives up a field goal. 3-0, MSU.

South Carolina vs. Clemson:
- The ground is shakin' in the Palmetto State, as Steve Spurrier is already on his way to Columbia. This is a tough call. Clemson definitely lost to Duke last week, but they definitely play better at the end of their seasons. Sort of. Man... my wings are on the line, I gotta be careful... like a sniper tip-toeing through a mine field, moving in for the KILL. Give... me... ... ... ... Clemson.

Iowa State vs. Kansas State:
- There is absolutely no way I am ever going to pick Iowa State.

Indiana vs. Purdue:
- Hey Joe Tiller, just because you lost 800 pounds doesn't mean you still aren't fat.

Tennessee vs. Vanderbilt:
- I want Purdue up above, and in the Battle of Knoxville I want Kevin Burnett with 4 sacks on my good buddy Jay Cutler. I'll be cringing all afternoon, as TAE's Top QB for Week 12 gets blasted and possibly killed in action.

Michigan vs. Ohio State:
- In C-bazz, but expect UM to win again. I apologize to Tressel.

Virginia vs. Georgia Tech:
- The defense is too good. I can't talk about Georgia Tech as much as I have all season and then not pick them in this game. What's that called whenever Japanese samurais used to commit suicide to show their honor? Seppuku. I'm committing seppuku. Ludacris, Reggie Ball, DTP, and Dominique Wilkins are all primed and ready for the Cavaliers.

UAB vs. Army:
- Hackney DESTROY.

Ball State vs. Central Michigan:
- They'll be chirpin' all over Lansing. Ball State by 6.

Northern Illinois vs. Eastern Michigan:
- EMU, you are the biggest losers in the world, and I will never forgive you for a 60 point loss to Kent State. No. Illy by 200.

Rutgers vs. Navy:
- I am so thoroughly disgusted with Greg Schiano and his complete lack of offense. That backfield has so much talent! As much as I hate Navy... No, give me Rutgers.

Kansas vs. Missouri:
- I can't believe this is a toss up. Fire Pinkell, NOW. Missouri by 8.

Memphis vs. East Carolina:
- No chance. Memfazzimo by 60.

Arkansas vs. Mississippi State:
- A true Dixie Duel. Give me The SAAAWWWWWWW by 29.

Louisiana Tech vs. Boise State:
- Upset Alert. Tech will beat Boise because you have no answer for Ryan Moats. Give me Boise by 4.

San Jose State vs. Tulsa:
- At Tulsa, SJSU is 0-5 on the road, give me the Golden Horde or whatever by 6. If they wear all gold, they win by 3.

Colorado State vs. Air Force:
- Hey, Air Farce, nice one last week against San Diego State. They only lost 4 straight. God, this team is so pathetic. Colorado State by 39.

Southern Mississippi vs. TCU:
- Beautiful uni's spark another Eagle victory.

Wyoming vs. New Mexico:
- Give me the Cowboys in sweet white uni's.

New Mexico State vs. Utah State:
- NMSU definitely was 0-5 on the road and crushed FAU, which was another dagger in The Awesome Elephant's tender Texan heart. I'll take them this week.

Auburn vs. Alabama:
- They're just too good. Tigers again.

Stanford vs. California:
- If any members of the band run onto the field in this game they'll be greeted in the melon with an Aaron Rodgers rocket pass.

South Florida vs. Cinncinnati:
- Gino Carpattilligattioli throws for 800, and reveals his true age to be 36, because he's been at Cincinnati for 24 years.

Wisconsin vs. Iowa:
- Here's to two straight.

Western Michigan vs. Marshall:
- Nice rebound for Shope.

Louisville vs. Houston:
- Not pretty.

SMU vs. UTEP:
- The Price is wrong, Craig James. UTEP by 50.

Miami Ohio vs. Akron:
- I don't know how they did it, but Miami Ohio is maybe the second best team in the MAC. They'll win this one.

BYU vs. Utah:
- They call this The Holy War. The Virgin Mary couldn't stop Urban Meyer from putting 90 on BYU.

Oregon vs. Oregon State:
- You know that wrestler named Eugene? The one who is supposedly mentally retarded? Well, it's no coincidence that his name is Eugene and the Ducks play in Eugene, Oregon. When they travel up to Corvallis, they'll be knocked out faster than a retard in dodgeball. KA POW

Washington vs. Washington State:
- Wazzou will be scorin' up the yazzoo all night.

Middle Tennessee State vs. Troy:
- Abe Kmetz is hanging his head in shame. Troy's helmets are just too dang sweet.

La Lafayette vs. UL Monroe:
- A classic battle. Give me the Laffies. A lot of filthy cajuns hangin' out at this one.

Florida vs. Florida State:
- No upset. FSU is terrible but they are just better than Florida.

Mississippi vs. LSU:
- I swear LSU has played 30 games so far this season. Here's a victory in number 31.

Nevada vs. Fresno State:
- Fresno put 70 on Hawaii, and that's enough to wax a moustach at. Frezzie Stizzle.

UNLV vs. San Diego State:
- Dark Side Defense got back on the board with a win last week over helpless Air Farce. Give me them again.

Idaho vs. Hawaii:
- "Not only will we never win a game in the WAC, we'd like to get an early punch in the face by taking on Timmy Chang before he graduates."

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Saturday November 20th, 2004:
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Oklahoma vs. Baylor:
- Sooners givin Baylor the boomerang club to the jaw, smashing faces and spraying mases

Wake Forest vs. Miami:
- Miami MUST win out to claim their 4th straight conference championship, so expect a 40 point cane shalackin

Boston College vs. Temple:
- The mighty mighty Bos-ton's

Buffalo vs. Connecticut:
- UCONN, their stupid helmets and my walmart shirt winning it

Illinois vs. Northwestern:
- Wildcats **** back their black and purple fists, and slam the orange indians in the face, giving them black and blue Ill-I-In-EYES

North Carolina vs. Duke:
- Spurrier hung up a few weeks ago, but for some reason the tarheels are playing pretty good football. Couple that with dukes sweet home uniforms and a win over Clemson, and we have what should really be a decent football game. Give me the Heels

Michigan State vs. Penn State:
- Like i said in toof n nail, the lion's performance will be a true indicator things are really turning around in happy valley. MSU by 27

South Carolina vs. Clemson:
- The big talk has been can Lou Holtz avenge his embarrassment suffered at the hands of clemson last season. I'm saying yes. Spurrier watches from a hot air balloon in the sky, and the gamecocks stomp out clemson's attempt to rectify another awesome season

Iowa State vs. Kansas State:
- Kud has sprowles running all over the field. KSU by 9

Indiana vs. Purdue:
- Da HOOOOOSURRRSSS lost to PSU last week, and purdue has been PurFinished ever since that wisconson game. So what's the pick? Well, one should know never to pick Indiana in big ten games, so purdue

Tennessee vs. Vanderbilt:
- TenAkEy

Michigan vs. Ohio State:
- Michigan has been putting up crazy points the second half of the season, as Edwards and Hart will put the check for 5000 dollars in the visor of the corvette they were given by the Buckeye boosters to blow the game and turn around and win the game by 2 tds. Mishy Gun

Virginia vs. Georgia Tech:
- Virginia is a really good football team, but two conference losses puts them on the outs. Worry not, Cav nation, victory is yours this saturday

UAB vs. Army:
- Wait.. I'm getting a vision.. A HUGE quarterback.. and a sweet dragon logo.. yes! yes! UAB will win by 409 points!

Ball State vs. Central Michigan:
- Ball Stizzle

Northern Illinois vs. Eastern Michigan:
- NO ILLY!

Rutgers vs. Navy:
- The Scarlet Knights practice chivarly taught to them in their writing class, and destroy navy's line and cordially pick them back up and pat their bottoms

Kansas vs. Missouri:
- Mizzou has done nothing but fail me.. But Kansas could never win? Could they? The answer is YES! Kansas by 3

Memphis vs. East Carolina:
- East Carolina is the absolute worst program in the country. ByWayO by 50

Arkansas vs. Mississippi State:
- Razor backs, on the merit of TAE's screen name The ArkanSaw

Louisiana Tech vs. Boise State:
- I'm actually kinda sick of saying it, but it's tradition.. All blue unis, all blue turf, black and blue skin tone for La Tech after this one

San Jose State vs. Tulsa:
- Tulsa

Colorado State vs. Air Force:
- How nice are those helmets? Sorry mayes.. CSU

Southern Mississippi vs. TCU:
- Texas Christian, even though that hat was nice, this has been a very sub par year for you. Gimme SoMissle

Wyoming vs. New Mexico:
- Big Game Hunters by 34

New Mexico State vs. Utah State:
- New Mexico State, I'm sorry, but you're one and done on the road. Utah State in a squeaker

Auburn vs. Alabama:
- Awwwwwwww BURRRRRRRRRRRRRN

Stanford vs. California:
- Golden Bears swiping their mighty paw and cutting down the Trees or whatever Stanford is

South Florida vs. Cinncinnati:
- Bald Bull, Coach of the South Florida Bulls. had this to say "You'll be down for the count after i hit you with my Bull Charge." For anyone who ever played super punchout, you konw that bald bull gets knocked the **** out EVERY TIME. Bearcats

Wisconsin vs. Iowa:
- Badgers on the rebound after last weeks embarassment

Western Michigan vs. Marshall:
- The star of our show.. Thier name is MARSHALL!

Louisville vs. Houston:
- for some reason Trev Alberts insists petrino would be great at florida. How that fits in with the usual stupid sarcastic or incriminating remarks usually included with a Houston game id ont konw. Lousiville by 60

SMU vs. UTEP:
- If this was last year this game would have made me want to throw up. Fast Forward about 358 days and we have UTEP pick axing Suck My University and beating them huge

Miami Ohio vs. Akron:
- MOHO (miami ohio's new offical nickname) is about to take down the zip(er)s.. Get it?

BYU vs. Utah:
- Utah HUGE

Oregon vs. Oregon State:
- Oregon will lose, but look really really good in the process

Washington vs. Washington State:
- Wash Stiggity

Middle Tennessee State vs. Troy:
- Metz, I love you. Those text messages you sent to me the other day were awsome.. Too bad your boys cant hold up their end of the bargain. Troy

La Lafayette vs. UL Monroe:
- I hate "USL" because they arent called that anymore, but i can NEVER pick monroe

Florida vs. Florida State:
- If Florida plays like they did last week we might have a barn burner.. but FSU's D is just too tough.

Mississippi vs. LSU:
- Here's what they'll say on College Football Scoreboard "Next we have Ole Miss against The Bayou Bangles. Now LSU is coming off a huge win last week and.. blah blah blah lbha lbhalblahblahbhala. And its a 31-17 win for the Tigers"

Nevada vs. Fresno State:
- Fresno

UNLV vs. San Diego State:
- Yeah, i'll go with SDSU

Idaho vs. Hawaii:
- I love you Timmy. Thanks for the memories. Hawaii by 7.. 63-56