The Aging Patriarch Meets the Ancient Enemy
Posted: June 21st, 2006, 5:11 pm
Guido D'Elia, communications director for Penn State football, recently interviewed UPS Head Coach Joe Paterno and his assistants Luca Brasi, Philip Tattaglia, Virgil Sollozzo and Emilio Barzini regarding the article published today on scheduling by TAE!
JoePa was short and rather terse when questioned about UPS being referenced in the article as well as the schools avoidance of playing a decent ooc schedule! "At least we play Temple thru 2099", Joe responded
"it is a win-win situation; they are stupid enough, errr desperate enough, to play in Sappy Valley 92 of the next 93 yrs in exchange for one game in Philly" We also have budding rivalries with E Mich, W Mich, Akron, Syr & Fla Int worked into our out of conference schedules! When it was pointed out that those squads $ucked Joe gave a wink and a nod to one of his henchmen/coach then responded " yea but our Big 10 schedule is so difficult we need to play the worst ooc sched. in the country!"
Guido then relayed a stat confirmed by vman's crack staff that from 2000 thru 2004 UPS had lost 33 regionally or nationally televised games(ya know big games) and only defeated 8 teams with a winning record. Joe had no direct/coherent response to those facts while simply mumbling something about..." thank God they don't knock on my door because I'd refer them to a couple of other rooms''...Mr. D'Elia said "WHAT" but was promptly removed from the room!
As of this writing Guido's car was found in a remote section of Penn's Creek; his wife received a brook trout wrapped in the Centre County newspaper which she promptly scaled, seasoned and pan fried!
STAY TUNED! Tommorow Vman meets Joepa & does some schedule comparisons but I'll leave you with a quote of DW when asked about a rivalry with the Nitwits: "They are not our rival. They are not anybody's rival. They are an eastern fiefdom ruled by the lord JoPa and are totally irrelevant to anyone else in the country. Most big ten fans are still wondering why they are in the conference."
Enough craziness for one day!
JoePa was short and rather terse when questioned about UPS being referenced in the article as well as the schools avoidance of playing a decent ooc schedule! "At least we play Temple thru 2099", Joe responded
"it is a win-win situation; they are stupid enough, errr desperate enough, to play in Sappy Valley 92 of the next 93 yrs in exchange for one game in Philly" We also have budding rivalries with E Mich, W Mich, Akron, Syr & Fla Int worked into our out of conference schedules! When it was pointed out that those squads $ucked Joe gave a wink and a nod to one of his henchmen/coach then responded " yea but our Big 10 schedule is so difficult we need to play the worst ooc sched. in the country!"
Guido then relayed a stat confirmed by vman's crack staff that from 2000 thru 2004 UPS had lost 33 regionally or nationally televised games(ya know big games) and only defeated 8 teams with a winning record. Joe had no direct/coherent response to those facts while simply mumbling something about..." thank God they don't knock on my door because I'd refer them to a couple of other rooms''...Mr. D'Elia said "WHAT" but was promptly removed from the room!
As of this writing Guido's car was found in a remote section of Penn's Creek; his wife received a brook trout wrapped in the Centre County newspaper which she promptly scaled, seasoned and pan fried!
STAY TUNED! Tommorow Vman meets Joepa & does some schedule comparisons but I'll leave you with a quote of DW when asked about a rivalry with the Nitwits: "They are not our rival. They are not anybody's rival. They are an eastern fiefdom ruled by the lord JoPa and are totally irrelevant to anyone else in the country. Most big ten fans are still wondering why they are in the conference."
Enough craziness for one day!