How Do You like Being Slapped in the Back of the Head?

[The Ancient Enemy]

Joe Paterno, who's record versus top 25 teams, as well as his record versus Michigan, the smartest man in college football, said today in that press conference that he is satisfied with his offense so far this season.

Since it has basically become my quest in life to show ignorant Penn State fans a little bit of insight, let me translate for you exactly what he is saying here.

"The critics keep blasting the offense, which is the nice way of saying that our garbage coaching staff is as bad as everyone knows it is. My genius son, who has done nothing productive since his first day in Happy Valley, in fact has hurt our quarterbacks tremendously, is a member of that staff. I don't want people coming out and and putting one and one together in the press, even though they already do it in their heads. So, basically, I am going to have to pretend like my kid isn't a complete moron, so that he doesn't get the criticism he deserves. I don't want to hurt his feelings, even though he is an integral reason why this program has every piece of the puzzle in place to be a national powerhouse, and refuses to take the next step."

Either that, or:

"I really have no idea what even happens, I didn't even know Chris Bell played last season, which was illustrated in this year's Town and Gown magazine."

Let me tell you something about Jay Paterno. Jay Paterno was the clown who, during those years PSU struggled, invented a very intelligent recruiting philosophy: "We are not going to recruit people, we're going to let people come and tell us they want to play here." I wish I was making that up.

I challenge all PSU fans, or anyone in general, to give me one example of something Jay Paterno has contributed to this football program.

[Captain Coveman]

What does Carrot Top do on the sidelines as well?

[fortheglory]

Actually, I saw Austin Scott in the HUB today, he couldn't hold onto his Nathan's Hot Dog....

So Slippery.

[fortheglory]

And actually, I really like McQueary, I hope he becomes our Head Coach when JoePa leaves, should we decide to recruit from within.

Jay Paterno however........the only reason could be.......
hmmm......
I dunno, he must know someone with a good position here or something.

[The Ancient Enemy]

If you promote Mike McQueary, you might as well crawl into a cave and have someone wake you up when they get another head coach.

[Crimson09Crazy]

well its obvious JoePa has been calling the plays and wearing the headset the past 10 years.......

[vman]

HEY REF

I fooled 'em all....they thought I was setting up Jaypa as my Successor......

But it is going to be.............. MINI ME!!!!!

[Pa_Finest]

What Joe Pa does with Penn State could be compared to a nearly-finished jigsaw puzzle: so there are only two pieces left and he keeps trying to put the pieces in the wrong spots, turning them every-which-way without success, but the bottom line is. . . . THEY WONT FIT. What he needs to do is get the correct pieces into the correct spots so that they can do their jobs and complete the puzzle; its not like the pieces aren't there, you just gotta make them fit Joe.

This situation that PSU is in now, unfortunately reminds me of Bill Chower with Roethlisberger last year, he has a player who is doing bad week-in and week-out and still starts him the next week out of optimism. The guy had a perfectly capable QB in Batch on the sidelines but refused to play him for one reason or another (possibly the fact that they might actually have won games that way?!?!) Why is it that everyone else can see these problems but these coaches can't/couldn't, I mean to the most average viewer these problems stick out like a sore thumb!

Please get the right players in the right places Joe.