Political humor

[once a runner]

What is there to be offended about? It's a joke. Despite what you may hear, it is possible for liberals to have a sense of humor.

[The Ancient Enemy]

We already roll on the ground laughing at Republicans, we don't necessarily need jokes.

[fleaflicker]

I'm a moderate (which meets the ultra conservatives defination of liberal, such as southpaw), and I also have a great disdain for Hillary.

[LionPride]

A popular Des Moines Barber shop had a new robotic barber installed. A fellow came in for a haircut. As the robot began to cut his hair it asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, investments, insurance, and so on. The man listened intently and said, "This is really cool."

Later, another gent came in for a haircut and the robot asked him as it began the haircut, "What's your IQ?"

The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on.

The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool."

Later on, a third guy came in to the barber shop. As with the others, the robot barber asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "70."

The robot then said, "So, I understand you guys are really excited about Hillary running for president?"

[Pale Rider]

That's about what it takes, too.

[LionPride]

In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.

His answer was classic Schwartzkopf. The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."

[Pale Rider]

How many elected Democratic officials does it take to screw up disaster plans formulated over a year ago for a Catagory 5 'Cane and major flooding in New Orleans? There is so much finger-pointing going on anyone down there will need safety glasses or lose an eye.

[Lemmy]

Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.'

Bill Maher

[Gunner18]

thats about the most mentally challenged thing ive ever read

[Pale Rider]

Lemmy: Why don't you AND Bill Maher pack your bags and get the HELL out of this country. I will personally pay for your air flight into Paris. Just tell me when.