CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS 2005

[The Ancient Enemy]

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for Donkey Bowl 2005? I sure as hell am. This weekend features an epic battle. Two jackasses square off against eachother in an out of conference game. That's right, Dave WannSPLAT and Bill Callahan are ready to slap eachother like the sissies they really are. Let's take a look at how these two nimrods match up.


Bill Callahan:

"I can promise the people of Nebraska about THIS MUCH success."

Strengths:

1. Went to the Super Bowl.
2. Has actually accomplished something in football.
3. Very good recruiter despite last year's on-field debacle.
4. Does not look frustrated every time the camera pans on him.

Weaknesses:

1. Lose a Super Bowl to the Tampa Bay Buccanneers and should probably be executed.
2. Former NFL players actually went on ESPN and told recruits not to go to Nebraska because Callahan is an a**hole with a long track-record of being an a**hole.



Dave Wannstedt:


Dohhh.


Doooohhhh!


DOHH!


DOOOHHHH!!!


OHHHH NO!!!! RUT-ROW!!!!

Strengths:

1. Constant frustrated look has made his face that way permenantly, giving him a good "poker face".
2. Tyler Palko is a good quarterback.
3. Really has no strengths.

Weaknesses:

1. Track-record of being an absolute failure at the head coaching level.
2. Lost to Ohio on national television after talking about national championships.
3. Team is undisciplined, lacks all self-esteem, and is virtually clueless on both sides of the ball.
4. Refuses to blitz or make in-game adjustments.
5. Not even as good of a coach as Walt Harris, which is a huge statement.
6. Has already marked Palko's stature, and is moving his progress in the wrong direction. Refuses to let the leader of the team (who is absolutely one of the best I-A quarterbacks in PA history in terms of talent and leadership) run the offense, and keeps him on a short leash.
7. Refuses to take team strengths into account, and forces the team to play his style of football despite not having th personnel to do it. Only successful coaches can turn a program in a new direction like that. Wannstedt is not one of them, and Pitt isn't a good enough place to try it yet.

I for one am very excited. I can't wait to see how a decent team will push Pitt around even more than that stingy Bobcats team just did. We all know Ohio U. is on the verge of a national title, especially after getting blown out by Northwestern. Nebraska will probably beat Pitt by 70 points, and the loser of the Donkey Bowl will be crowned by TAE on Saturday night as "Jackass of the Universe 2005". Stay tuned!!!



Shown Above: HB Blades leads head-coach Dave Wannstedt into Lincoln.

[The Ancient Enemy]

Donkey Bowl countdown has begun!!!! 73 hours from now we kickoff and find out who the biggest jackass on earth really is!!! LETSSSS GOOOOOOOO CALLAHAN!!!!

[ham55]

HAHA