Mayoral Statement: Iran Clarification.

[The Ancient Enemy]

Two of my friends (not BC people) have in one way or another shown some disagreement with your pal Brom Bones. Because of Steak's honesty that he does not necessarily agree with Your Literary Hero's views on Iran and Iraq, I feel I may need to post some clarification. My friend Frankie, irrational Syracuse basketball fan and fresh out of law school, has also silently told me that he does not agree with my views. I very much appreciate and respect the opinions of both of these mountains of men, but will throw dirt on them both by saying they are wrong and I am right and they are both shackled by the chains of love, which makes your brainz dumb.

I'm kidding of course. But I think I should take the opportunity to try and clarify some issues, since some of you have been following my threads on the current situation.

See, Steak and Frank (great tag-team name, well, not better than Frankensteak, but hey) are not the only people who disagree. One person, whom I will not mention the name of, has also disagreed with TAE in a major way. I will not speak this person's name, not even on here where no one knows them, because speaking their name gives them credibility, and also shows that I acknowledge them as an equal.

Friends and Bleacher Coaches countrymen, bend your ears to Mayor Enemy and open your massive hearts. I am not a war-mongering anti-Iranian warlord. I am an American who accepts reality. I will say, once again... Regardless of your views on the war, regardless of the reason you believe we are fighting "terrorists", is very much besides the point right now. If you think WMD's were all fraudulent claims, that is a valid point. If you think Iran should have the capacity to use nuclear energy, that, my friends, is a very valid point. If you go one step farther, and think that all peoples should have to fight their own battles for freedom, no matter what country or level of oppression, that is also a point I strongly believe. The Iraqis should have overthrown Saddam Hussein if they wanted some democracy. The Iranian opposition to the current government (70 percent of population, who are pro-west) should kill their leaders and take control for themselves. This stems from my very-deeply rooted philosophy of DOING THINGS FOR YOURSELF AND TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF. I am not advocating a nuclear strike against Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Norway, California, the Scientologists, or the Grays that live on the other side of the Moon. Especially when these peoples seem like they want to play along with us to begin with.

My struggle with the anti-war people is as follows: regardless of where your fingers get pointed, regardless of whether or not you believe we should be over there, for this reason or that reason, you have simply got to accept the fact that we are in Iraq fighting a freaking war. Why is this so hard for you to understand? It does not matter if you think we have the right to force our beliefs on these people! You and I have inherited an America where we must now deal with the irrational and illogical decisions made by people in this government that we had no control over. We are fighting a war against people who hate us, for whatever reason, being that the protection of Israel (my belief), or the forced belief that they are extremely jealous of Burger Kings and Oakley sunglasses. You have got to, at the end of the day, realize that we are at war, and are now stuck in said war, and need to resolve the situation.

Leaving that country right now is a very, very, very big mistake. Anyone who has ever played sports knows that you NEVER give your opponent a chance to gain momentum. You do not run the ball for the whole second half, clinging desperately to a 10 point lead, and you sure as hell never leave time on the clock. If we leave Iraq in defeat, that is, without the attainment of complete success, we show the opposition that the United States, and the military that we use as our bicep to show that strength, and the UN's strength, is overrated. You don't want to do this. I know that many of you dream of a world where there is an even playing field, and we all get along and share resources, but that dream is just that: a dream. Humanity is a warring race, we are extremely competitive, and shady as we can be. That is nowhere more evident than right here in the US. We have done immense amounts of horrible things to other countries, and I truly think that we are past the point of 'forgive and forget', regardless of what the Get-Up Kids said on the EP back in the day. I cannot stress enough to you that I agree with you that people should fight their own battles, and I agree that the claims against Iraq were all lies, and I agree that Iran should have the right, much like North Korea, to actively power their country using nuclear energy. But this is the United States. Your beliefs do not matter right now. The situation, right now, is that we are stuck with decisions and actions made in the past which have forced us into this corner that is forced democracy. That, my fellow Americans, is our reality. Do I wish this was different? You all know the answer to that.

Now we must talk briefly about Iran, and this stand-off. The US government does not like the Iranian government, and we can do little at this point to try and persuade the people we unfortunately elected to change their policy on Iran. We are definitely using diplomacy as a facade, and they clearly know this. They know we want to attack them. They don't give a crap about that. Iran is at the point where they have seen the US act tough and then back off, a thousand times over, with them and many other countries. I am all about using diplomacy to solve problems. I don't want to see one more person get shipped over there to fight somebody else's war, for whatever reason that war started and is continuing. But Iran may have dropped the ball. They keep saying that they want diplomacy, and want to talk. I now will pose you with a question which you need to answer for yourselves, and I pose this question to the unnamed person I mentioned above, who I know for a fact has at least 1 good friend stuck in Iraq right now. The question is this: If Iran's government did indeed ship those anti-armor mines in Iraq, did they not cross the line? I think the line has been crossed, folks. If you're supplying our opposition with weaponry... yeah, I think that about does it for me. I was all about giving Iran the benefit of the doubt. The unnamed person, and everyone else, knows this. But you crossed the line, gringo. When they ship this unnamed person's friend back to the United States in a shoebox, I want them and their friends to continue to put their noses in the air, and still talk about how Iran's government is cool as hell and needs to be left alone. The hypocrisy of supporting Iran and allowing them to actively kill your own troops is unfathomable.

But, much like all idiots, people are pro-life until your daughter gets pregnant. You are against stem-cell research until your mother gets her legs ripped off by a drunk driver.

I think most of us would like to see world peace, an international community where we actively help eachother and share our resources while basking in our awesome, Earthly diversity. But sometimes, just maybe, just because you yourself are tolerant of others, doesn't mean they're tolerant of you. It takes courage for members of different Earthly areas to get along and to put their foot down when needed. The UN does nothing but tuck its tail and hide behind American muscle. Do you yet realize that the only god active on this planet is American muscle? No one is coming down here to scold us. Society makes all these rules, folks. And the biggest kid on the block, whether you like it or not, whether you agree or not, whether you want it or not, is the one who says how Earth goes. There is no forgive and forget, whatever was said. But we are certainly growing up, by the hour.

Accept reality. This is your future at stake. Stop complaining without rational solutions, and solve your problems, or please get out of the way.

Mad cow disease,
- Mayor Bones