"We need more fat guys!": Joe Offers H-burg DT

[The Ancient Enemy]

The Penn State coaching staff is keeping their eyes set on their goal. In an over-all league where speed has definitely been the determining factor, Penn State has shown its Big Ten loyalty yet again this recruiting season, by avoiding speed at all costs. Lord knows we don't need RB or WR depth. What we need are more 358 lb. defensive tackles who are listed as a 2-star player on Rivals and a 1-star player on Scout.

JUCO RB Bloi-Dei Dorzan, who has a beautiful mane of hair, was given a "no soup for you" by Carrot Top and JayPa last weekend. Why, you ask? Because we don't need running backs. We have injury prone Evan Royster to run the ball 1 series a game before he gets hurts again. Then Jay can run his offense with a passing attack led by Daryl Clark, who may be the worst thrower of any PSU QB we can remember. Dorzan basically told the PSU staff he was packed and ready to move into the campus houseing, but no, we don't have any scholarships available! That's weird, because this weekend, 600 lb. DT Brandon Ware was offered a scholarship. He's now committed. I love Penn State.