James Laurenitis Named 2009 #1 Pick

[The Ancient Enemy]

This one goes out to my buddy Wildcat, who says the site is overrun with football recruiting and hockey, yet never starts any discussions.

Mel Kiper or one of those idiots at the Clown College known as ESPN stated a week or so ago that Ohio State LB James Laurenitis should be the first pick in the draft. Two ways you can look at this. 1. He really thinks Laurenitis is the nation's best player, or 2. #1 picks are traditionally media-monsters who end being busts.

Let's pretend that he was aiming for number 1, even though we all know number 2 is more fitting. Let me throw out a disclaimer, here. I have said on a number of occasions that I respect the Ohio State coaching staff for how they reload talent and have a decent recruiting reach outside of their own state. There is something to be said about getting to a national title game two times in a row, even though both games were the equivalent of slow-witted Bambi getting run over by a cement truck. Let's forget that for a second. Let's forget too that it is solely Ohio State's fault for the entire conference getting a bad reputation.

Now, we have here a kid who has all the pieces in place to be the biggest media-monster of 2009. He plays for a big-time program, he's decent and he's white, he's the captain of the defense, and daddy was a professional wrestler. I liked the Roadwarriors when they were carving Dusty Rhodes' eye out with a spike, not the sissified mockery of themselves that they were in the WWF. But we'll save wrestling chat for another time.

What a great story, daddy was a wrestler. That really makes my heart melt. I'm sure Brent Musberger is someplace right now with a drink in his hand telling a bunch of people how awesome James Laurenitis is. But what you DON'T hear about, is how James Laurenitis disappears in games and even for stretches of consecutive games. You also don't hear about how you can run right at him and do whatever you want. You don't hear that. You hear about The Roadwarriors and Jimmy's "tenacity". This kid has got Brian Bosworth 2.0 written all over him. Go ahead, blow a first pick on James Laurenitis. Because, whoever does that, is showing the rest of the league exactly why they are in last place. He'll be in Oakland in 11 months.

Tell me the last time Sean Lee disappeared in the middle of a game or was susceptible in defense.