2004 NCAA Wrap Up
2004 NCAA Wrap Up
Hello everyone, welcome to my 2004 NCAA Division 1 Football wrap up post.
I'd like to begin this first and foremost by thanking everyone here at Bleacher Coaches. With the combination of school and sheer laziness to do anything because of school, i havent been able to post on here as much as I'd like to in recent weeks, but with the semester being over in 6 days i'm looking forward to the conversations, especially with Bowl Season beginning Tuesday. I was skeptical coming to this board, as myself and TAE found a comfy home at LH Sports. But, it went down the crapper there as I realized that paying $10 a year to talk to people that I could chat with over the phone or at any high profile HS event in the area was just not worth it. Enter TAE who gave me the heads up on this board, forwarding the information to me from another former LH poster. Anyway, it turned into a really good fit, as I really enjoy the opinons (agree or not) of the posters here, and am glad to be a part of the BC community. Now, as they say in Toof N Nail, on to the show:
NCAA PICKS '04: The Battle of Fort Buffalo Sauce
The picks are nearly over, and, just like last year, I am the regular season champ, edging out my competition by one game. Also, for the second straight season, I showed Grossman-like poise in the pocket, leading a tremendous come back from 7 games down in the closing weeks to take the lead going into college football's post season. I'd just really like to thank WVU for their late season crumble, as the BC and Pitt games were enough to put me over the top. Kisses for Kay Jay! Bowl Picks should be expected within the next 48 hours.
Thoughts on Chris's Favorites
Now, I have no idea who this "Chris" person is, but he oddly shares the same likes and dislikes as me when it comes to college football. Because he is such a cool dude, I'll give him the credit for the title of this subsection.. Lets take a look at how everyone fared:
TEAMS
PENN STATE: The Love Ya Lions started out hot, destroying everyone's preseason number 1, Akron, in their opener. Sophomore sensations Tony Hunt AND Austin Scott each rushed for over 100 yards, Zack Mills was good enough, and the defense was near flawless. Hopes were soaring in Happy Valley, until the Bad Boys from Boston invited JoePa's posse to their rendition of Dante's Inferno, exposing nearly every PSU weak points in a 21-7 game that was much worse than the score indicates (and did i mention that was only the second game of the season?). Anyway, after beating the Power House Knights of Central Florida, PSU went on a 6 game conference losing streak attributed soley to their offense who put up a mere 40 points in that span. *For those counting, there was 4 points not accounted for, because the defense scored them as safeties in a 6-4 loss to Iowa*. Just when it looked like all was lost though, Penn State squeaked by the eventual Big Ten Champion Indiana Hoosiers, and demoralized Michigan State 37-13 (yes, their offense almost scored more in that game than they did in their first 6 conference games). With that happening, it seems obvious that Paterno has them going in the "right direction", and will be sticking around at least another season. As a lifelong PSU fan, i can only hope they do well enough next year that he feels it's over, and can go out without embarassment.
MIAMI: The U kicked off the season with a game against Florida State, one in which the entire country thought the winner would win the now stacked ACC. The game was a defensive struggle throughout, and 2003's scapegoat Brock Berlin, teamed with traditionally hobbled Frank Gore to make the final 5 minutes of the game perhaps the most exciting of the season, coming back and eventually beating the Seminols in overtime. The Canes would proceed to roll over their next 3 opponents, and treated America to another dramatic win on national television, coming back from a 3 score deficit to beat the Louisville Cardinals on October 14. A win over NC State helped everyone forget the U's mid major scare, and once again the nation was talking about seeing the Canes playing in the Orange Bowl on Jan 4... Enter the North Carolina Tar Heels. I didnt think it was possible. I watched the whole game thinking it was a matter of seconds until the Canes turned it on, and was nearly in tears as UNC's freshman kicker sent the ball through the uprights as time expired. The dream was over in Coral Gables, and a loss the following week to clemson (this time in OT) put an end to not only Miami's national title hopes, but seriously wounded thier conference title hopes as well. After 2 more stellar Berlin performances against Virginia and Wake Forest, the whole season came down to one game against Virginia Tech. It pains me too much to really go into detail, but the Canes were beat for the second time in the same year at the Orange Bowl, and the outright ACC crown was placed on Frank Beamer's royal cranium. There are talks of removing Prince Larry Coker from the head spot, and the U will have to settle for a New Years Eve bowl game against the Florida Gators.
FLORIDA: If Coach Zook and QB Chris Leak had a chance at mega-stardom, this season was it. They were young, but very talented. They didnt get too much hype, but werent pounded into preseason defeat by an unforgiving media. Their aspirations at both the national AND conference levels were dashed in their second game against rival Tennessee. The game could have been theirs, and credit poor officiating for that one. Officials were not the problem, however, in losses against LSU (Totally blew it), Mississippi State (Who wasnt an embarassment to the South Eastern Conference the past few seasons..), and Georgia (who they had every reason in the world to beat, being they beat them something like 13 out of the past 14 seasons AND Poppa Zook lost his job after his showcase performance the previous week against MSU). The Gators closed out the season with a win AT Tallahassee, beating the Seminols on the night they named their field after collegiate legend and head coach, Bobby Bowden. Mr Bowden would not be denied, however, quoted "You have to be fired to make that call" when asked to comment on florida going for it on 4th down inside their own 30 in the waning minutes of the game. Ron Zook lost my respect, and dont expect the Gators to be on this list next year.
TEXAS TECH: One and Done. That phrase equals greatness when it comes to Texas Tech quarterbacks. Sunny Cumbie certainly followed suit, as he passed for 4222 yards and 29 TDs in his first and only season as the Red Raider's signal caller. I dont expect much from TT, as a matter of fact, i like them being a middle of the pack team. Their early season loss to New Mexico didnt bother me, and the Raider's greatness was further examplified by putting up 70 on TCU AND Nebraska. Losses to Texas and Oklahoma were pretty much expected, and their dissapointing loss to A&M was rectified by beating 23rd ranked Oklahoma State in their season finale. Texas Tech was rewarded for their content with just barely above average football with a Rose Bowl bid and will play the Marshall Thundering Herd.
PLAYERS
While i was initially going to have 2 quarterbacks on this list, I was forced to remove Sunny Cumbie after seeing a picture of him with his helmet off. I'll be da**ed if I let a dork like that make my list of top players this season. With that being said, Let's hear it for perhaps the best player to EVER wear a D1A chinstrap, From the University of Hawaii: TIMMY CHANG! Yes he lost 69-3 to Boise State and 70-15 against Fresno, but who cares. The man set the all time Division 1 career passing record, throwing for 3853 yards on 556 attempts, complemented by 34 touchdowns and a 132.53 passer rating. Of all of the nearly 4000 yards he threw for this season, none were as important as the 405 and 416 he threw for in consecutive victories against Northwestern and Michigan State, ensuring hawaii a spot in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl on Christmas Eve against the ever dangerous Alabama Birmingham Dragons. In those 2 games, he also threw for 8 tds and 2 interceptions. 2 picks you say? Yeah, the man threw the ball 105 times in those 2 games. Never before and never again will one person mean as much to a university, or to the sport of football for that matter. Because the NFL is laced with morons and Peyton Manning, Timmy will most likely never set foot on a pro field, and in the event of that tragedy happening, i'd like to right now extend my gratitude to him and his family for providing me with a lifetime's worth of memories the past 4 seasons.
COACHES
Larry Coker: Three losses in one year is nothing less than unacceptable in Coral Gables, Florida.. But before these people go too crazy, lets remember that in his first three seasons he was 35-3. Mr Coker won a national title in his first year at the helm, and under him the Canes have gone to the Rose (W-Nebraska), Fiesta (L-Ohio State), and Orange (W-Florida State) bowls. He was the third winningest coach after 3 seasons all time (behind only walter camp and barry switzer), and led Miami's campaign as the only team to ever play in the 4 major bowls (Orange, Rose, Fiesta, and Sugar) in consecutive seasons. With so many returning next year, along with highly touted Kyle Wright behind center, it is absurd to think this team will not be the favorite in the ACC. As for this year's accomplishments, coaching a young and injury riddled squad, Coker's Canes finished at 8-3 clinching a birth in the Chic Fil A Peach Bowl on Dec 31 against Florida. Prediction: The U by 50.
Steve Spurrier: I love this man with all of my being, and it brings me no greater pleasure than to say he will return to his rightful home, College Football, in 2005. There are already title talks swirling around the GameCockRing of alumni and fans, and rightfully so. We're talking about a man who made Duke respectable, and then went on an incredible run with the Florida Gators, bringing home a national title in 1996. A two year experiment with the NFL's Washington Redskins failed (but with Joe Gibbs' recent struggles, it really makes me scratch my head as to how much of that was really his fault, and after a year off he has decided it is his time to once again lead a middle of the pack school to national prominece. The task shouldnt be too difficult, as SC was far from a pushover this season, and their solid black uni's examplify all that is right with the world. Expect huge battles between the Game Cocks and Florida Gators, as spurrier flirted with a return to the land that made him the legend he is, only to flee the scene and give Urnban Meyer the oppertunity to prove himself on a national stage with a prestegeous program.
UNIFORMS
A List of the sweetest uniforms in College Football (in no particular order) are as follows:
Bowling Green, All Orange
Oregon, All Yellow
Florida, All Blue
Miami, Orange Jerseys and White Pants (with Black socks and black shoes)
South Carolina, All Black
Hawaii, All Black
Florida State, All Red
Troy, Maroon Jerseys
South Florida, All Greens
Virginia Tech, Maroon Jerseys, white pants
Woodland Hills High School, Solid black (DELICIOUS!)
FINGER OF SHAME:
Tennessee for dropping all oranges, it makes me believe that their team was not injury plagued, but rather protesting the Vols dropping these gorgeous but putrid uniforms.
Notre Dame for not wearing green jerseys. I dont care if you're 0-100 when you wear them, if they look good you gotta do it. Like Clinton Portis said after being fined for wearing red socks last week, "You gotta look sweet to play sweet." He did, and guess what, he ran for 150 and 2 TDs. Do yourselves a favor, irish, and look good on the field.
Penn State for keeping the same uniforms but still looking pretty good. Yeah, i like the black shoes with gray accessories (gloves, etc), but if you're only gonna win 4 games a year at least give us Blue pants so there's something to look forward to. Even Bedford got new uniforms, keep up with the times, JoePA.
That concludes the favorites section, now, on to an overall look at the season:
2004 And BEYOND…
BCS
The BCS treated us to yet another blunder, with Auburn going undefeated and not getting a chance to play for the national championship even though they had zero losses playing an SEC schedule. What else do you expect when you drop Strength of Schedule, Losses, Quality wins, etc from the mix and put 2/3 of the system into the hands of the people that made you create it because of their consistent foul ups? Texas squeaks past Cal to get a Rose Bowl bid, and Cal beat So Miss in their last game? That’s the breaks, folks. I’m not really complaining though, as I think Texas and Michigan will match up quite well.. The only bad thing about Cal not being in this game is we will never know how truly good they were, as they stood toe to toe with USC but other than that didn’t really play anyone. Auburn and Vtech? 2 of the most dangerous teams in the country, but it just seems odd to see a Beamer squad in a big time game. Also, a 3 loss Pitt team is playing an undefeated Mid Major program. SMELL THE RATINGS. I don’t care how well pitt has been playing recently, they nearly lost to Furman, DID lose to Nebraska, and play in a schedule who’s strength is rivaled by only the Sun Belt. As for Utah, give me three years, a couple million, some new facilities, and watch me run the table in the Mountain West. What a joke. In a few months there will be about 30 million tear soaked dollars in circulation.
COACHES
Ron Zook showed the world that you can have superstar talent and still be terrible. The Gators losses to Tennessee AND LSU came in the closing minutes, and when teams have an inability to put others away you gotta blame the staff. The MSU loss should have never happened, and by the time that was over there was such a huge emotional tidal wave in the Florida locker room they had no chance against Georgia. Three 5 loss seasons in one of the best programs in the country with one of the five most talented teams in D1A football is very commendable. Welcome to eternal mediocrity, Illinois.
Tyrone Willingham was fired after three seasons as the head man at Notre Dame. I don’t have much to say here that may main man TAE hasn’t already, so I’ll just sum it up by saying he was fired so ND could sign Urban Meyer, who had an exit clause in his contract in the event that Notre Dame offered him a position. Well, Meyer met with ND, but allegedly a deal was already in place with the Gators, leaving Notre Dame and it’s prestige in the cold. I guess they’re talking to Charlie Weis, and what happens there, not too many people care. Don’t be surprised if Willingham is this year’s Tommy Tuberville, getting canned only to have the university come back on its hands and knees after a few weeks of unsuccessful attempts at landing big name coaches. ***BREAKING NEWS, IRISH AND WEIS AGREE TO TERMS. I’LL CALL YOU IN 3 YEARS WHEN YOU NEED A NEW JOB, CHARLIE***
East Carolina’s coach Rich Eisen was fired. Why did I say Rich Eisen? Because I haven’t seen him on tv for quite a while, so the only logical answer is he decided it was time to head a football team and lose a whole bunch of games for a few years. The Purple Pirates hired the highest profile coach they could find, Shaka Holtz-Lu, and are prepared for nothing less than three more years of basement dwelling crap football.
Urban Meyer is leaving Utah after their BCS game to coach the Florida Gators next season. Whoopdie do! That team left such a foul taste in my mouth after their consistent dismal performances this year that I cant help but root against them. Meyer is looking to turn around his third team in as many tries (Bowling Green, Utah-both of whom he pledged his allegiance to and then packed up his bags and left). There’s no excuse why he doesn’t win a national championship within three years there, and I should be happy, but I’m not. For some reason, ever since he took that job I cant stop but thinking he is one of the worst coaches in the country. This is farewell, Florida.. hopefully you’ll perform well next year and I can jump back on your bandwagon.. Until then, so long suckers
UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI STARS
That’s right, Miami is so good that I had to dedicate a whole section just to them. Keep in mind they have 19 first round draft picks the past 4 years.. First on our list, Devin Hester. This sophomore sensation played literally everywhere on the field, both sides of the ball, special teams.. you name it, he did it. He played Receiver, Tailback, saw time at DB when the canes put in their 5 and 6 D back packages (Hester led the canes with 3 picks), and was the most dangerous return man in the country (4 return tds). His 4.2 speed made him a big play threat every time he set foot on the field. Brock Berlin, Coral Gables’ own scapegoat just a season ago, was the main contributor to Miami’s success this season. He led 3 comebacks, passed for 2509 yards, 21 touchdowns and only 5 INTs. He is said to be favored for the ACC player of the year, and I wish him the best in his ventures to the next level. Junior Roscoe Parrish lead all receivers with 39 catches for 630 yards, perhaps none sweeter than his touchdown catch on 4th down to seal the deal against UVA. Parrish also had a punt return for a touchdown this season in that same game. Antrell Rolle is perhaps the most complete defensive player in the country, and his numbers don’t do him justice as it wasn’t very often the ball came his way. Sophomore Baraka Atkins anchored a very young defensive line that is sure to cause all kinds of Atlantic Costal Commotion next season.
PRESEASON TOP 25 (Coaches Poll)
1. USC
2. Oklahoma
3. LSU
4. Georgia
5. Miami
6. Florida State
7. Michigan
8. Texas
9. Ohio State
10. Florida
11. West Virginia
12. Iowa
13. Kansas State
14. Tennessee
15. California
16. Clemson
17. Missouri
18. Auburn
19. Virginia
20. Maryland
21. Utah
22. Wisconsin
23. Minnesota
24. Purdue
25. Oregon
FINAL TOP 25 (Coaches Poll)
1. USC (12-0)
2. Oklahoma (12-0)
3. Auburn (12-0)
4. California (10-1)
5. Texas (10-1)
6. Utah (11-0)
7. Georgia (9-2)
8. Louisville (10-1)
9. Virginia Tech (10-2)
10. Boise State (11-0)
11. LSU (9-2)
12. Michigan (9-2)
13. Iowa (9-2)
14. Miami (8-3)
15. Florida State (8-3)
16. Wisconsin (9-2)
17. Tennessee (9-3)
18. Virginia (8-3)
19. Florida (7-4)
20. Pittsburgh (8-3)
21. Texas Tech (7-4)
22. Ohio State (7-4)
23. West Virginia (8-3)
24. Arizona State (8-3)
25. Texas A&M (7-4)
Its amazing how wrong everyone is about so many teams at the beginning of the season. Now I’m guilty as well, because my preseason poll would have had USC and LSU at the top (because they split the title last year) followed by Miami with your Florida States, etc as well.. What surprised me the most, however was how precise some of the rankings were.. Look at Virginia, Texas, and Iowa, all finishing within 3 spots of where they were ranked in the preseason (USC and OU are right on, but that’s expected with the talent they had and the teams they faced).
SUPRISES
Two teams totally ran away with this one, Virginia Tech and Auburn. Virginia Tech’s journey to the BCS was amazing though, being they weren’t even ranked to start the season, and many had them finishing toward the bottom of the ACC. They were a blown Pass Interference call from going up 3 scores on eventual number one USC and lost by a missed field goal in the closing seconds to NC State. 2 plays from perhaps playing in the Orange Bowl.. Ouch.. Auburn is a mini Cinderella story in its own. Tuberville was fired, and rehired, and never looked back. Ronnie Brown and Cadillac Williams ran all over everyone, and Jason Campbell did more than enough to provide the Tigers with the SEC title. It’s a shame they ran the table in a conference as tough as the SEC and have nothing to show for it, as a Sugar bowl birth should be considered a dissapointment. The irony of it all is these two teams will be playing one another in January, so as they say in theatre, “And the plot thickens…”
Also, LSU finished at a very quiet 9-2, and even though they won the title last year, no one gave them much credit for anything after week one. Mike Price has turned UTEP into a super-human football juggernaut, who relies on victories to fuel his internal furnace. Finally, Louisville proved to the world in their encounter with the Hurricanes that they are more than ready to play in a major conference, and their 10-1 record is no joke. Now, they wont be putting up 60 a game in the Big East, but as of right now they should undoubtedly be the favorite to win it next year.
DISAPOINTMENTS
Three words, Lets Gooooooooooooooo Mountaineeeeeeeeeeeeeeers! Way too many people fed into the hype surrounding this team, and, as myself and TAE predicted, it all unraveled for RichRod and his blue and yellow army. Rasheed Marshal has more rushing yards than Mike Vick, but please remember Vicks numbers came in his freshman and sophomore seasons. Chris Henry kicked people, and there is a very overrated player with the nickname PacMan who received media attention not because of his play, but rather his irritating alias.
I’ve bashed Florida enough in this post already, but for the last time, there was no excuse for this team to not finish in the top 5. They didn’t play Auburn, and did have a stacked team on both sides of the ball. What happened? Ask Saksa, cause I sure as hell don’t know. It was a total meltdown in Gainesville, and now that the Zook is loose, we’ll see what Urban “Captain Turnaround” Meyer can do when he enters Chomp City next season. 14 losses in three seasons isn’t even acceptable by Marshall’s standards, and it happened to a team with the prominence of Florida? Shame Shame
Miami. It honestly pains me to type these letters, but I would have had to include them in this section even if they only lost one game. They are the most talented team in the country. No one has caused the damage they have on a national level the past 25 years. They have 19 first round draft picks in the past 4 years (second best is 6), and this was their first year in the ACC, a year to make their impression felt. Tragically, the U lost to traditional bottom feeders UNC and Clemson, and capped off the regular season with a 16-10 defeat suffered at the hands of Virginia Tech. That’s two in a row to the Hokies, and the latter was a game at the Orange Bowl. That’s gonna be the one circled on the calender for next year, folks, but until then, it’s F.Beam’s time in the sunshine.
Fresno State. Their loss to UTEP doesn’t seem so bad now, but the loss to LA Tech sure does. This was the team that Mark May predicted would jump all the way to number 2 and be the first non BCS team to play for the national championship. Tech put an end to that talk real quick, and the UTEP loss as well as a beat down at the hands of Boise State soon followed. I’m sure their in a bowl game, I just have no idea what it is, and at this point in time, don’t really care.
AWARDS WINNERS
Matt Leinart won the Heisman, and it is a joyus occasion and a shame at the same time. Him winning the award is wonderful because Jason White didn’t go down in history as only the second player to win it twice (and first not to deserve it either time), and a mockery of the system because Leinart wasn’t even the best player on his own team. That title belongs to a Mr. Reggie Bush, who didn’t win any awards this previous Thursday or the Big One. Bush averaged 180 yards a game, scored 15 times and was a threat rushing, receiving, and returning. The man even had a passing touchdown! He is only a sophomore though, and as long as the person calling signals next season can get the ball to him he should be a front runner again.
Other Award winners were Cedric Benson winning the Doak Walker for best RB (it’s a real shame that he wasn’t a finalist for the Heisman and Adrian Peterson was), Jason White winning Outstanding QB And the Maxwell (Outstanding All Around Player), Edwards taking home Outstanding Receiver, Urban Meyer winning Coach of the Year, and Leinart winning the Walter Camp award. It doesn’t make sense to me that people didn’t even vote Leinart the best at his position, let alone the best player in the country, and he comes up a winner tonight. I wanted to end this paragraph with a witty comment or quote but cant think of any, so on to the next section..
And now, for the grand finale, DeBiceps’ Awards and All America Team:
AWARDS
John Saksa Award
-Given to a person that plays for the Florida Gators that got no hype for any big time award because his team played like crap-ola:
CHRIS LEAK, UF
R. Debias Award
-Given to the player who best personifies a killer instinct
CEDRIC BENSON, TEXAS
Ron Zook Award (Formerly “Could Have Done Better” Award)
-Given to the player or coach who had the biggest opportunity to do something respectable with a big time program, but didn’t.
RON ZOOK, UF-ILLINOIS
Jesse Scott Award
-Given to the player who had an excellent YPC average but touched the ball about 5 times a game, making the nation question the coach and wonder if something happened off the field that wasn’t necessarily made public
AUSTIN SCOTT, PSU
David Boston Award
-Given to the player with the most impressive physique in college football
BRADY QUINN, NOTRE DAME
The Haley Award
-Given to the player who is a physical beast but isn’t very intelligent
FRANK GORE, U MIAMI
The Kodiak Award
-Given to the player that everyone liked a whole lot but didn’t do much of anything
PACMAN JONES, WVU
B.J. Symmons Award
-Given to the quarterback who racked up a whole bunch of yards in his first and only season at starter
SUNNY CUMBIE, TEXAS TECH
Eric Trout Award
-Given to the player who made big plays on both offense AND defense in a season
DEVIN HESTER, U MIAMI
Bryan Kudlawiec Award
-Outstanding quarterback
BROCK BERLIN, U MIAMI
Dave Batista Award
-Given to the player who had a huge impact on his team’s success and also has a whole bunch of tattoos
CHAD OWENS, HAWAII
Steve Spurrier/Larry Coker Award
-Coach of the Year
Mike Price, UTEP
C. Debias Award
-Given to the best player in the country. This person had to miss an extended period of time in at least one season due to injury. Player must also exemplify a love for throwing the ball all of the time, and have a disregard for turnovers or losing a bunch of games, so long as he has sweet numbers.
TIMMY CHANG, HAWAII
ALL AMERICANS
OFFENSE
QB: Timmy Chang, Hawaii
RB: Cedric Benson, Texas
RB: Reggie Bush, USC
TE: Greg Olsen, Miami
OL: Abe Kmetz, Forest Hills High School- Class of 2003
OL: Jammal Brown, OU
OL: Orlando Pace, St Louis Rams
OL: N/A
OL: N/A
WR: Chad Owens, Hawaii
WR: Roscoe Parrish, Miami
WR: Braylon Edwards, Michigan
Specialist: Devin Hester, Miami
DEFENSE
DL: Baraka Atkins, Miami
DL: Erasmus James, Wisconsin
DL: Marcus Spears, LSU
DL: David Pollak, Georgia
LB: Paul Posluszny, Penn State
LB: Channing Crowder, Florida
LB: Derrick Johnson, Texas
DB: Antrel Rolle, Miami
DB: Anthony Reddick, Miami
DB: Reynaldo Hill, Florida
DB: Carlos Rogers, Auburn
Thank you everyone for reading.. Happy Holidays
I'd like to begin this first and foremost by thanking everyone here at Bleacher Coaches. With the combination of school and sheer laziness to do anything because of school, i havent been able to post on here as much as I'd like to in recent weeks, but with the semester being over in 6 days i'm looking forward to the conversations, especially with Bowl Season beginning Tuesday. I was skeptical coming to this board, as myself and TAE found a comfy home at LH Sports. But, it went down the crapper there as I realized that paying $10 a year to talk to people that I could chat with over the phone or at any high profile HS event in the area was just not worth it. Enter TAE who gave me the heads up on this board, forwarding the information to me from another former LH poster. Anyway, it turned into a really good fit, as I really enjoy the opinons (agree or not) of the posters here, and am glad to be a part of the BC community. Now, as they say in Toof N Nail, on to the show:
NCAA PICKS '04: The Battle of Fort Buffalo Sauce
The picks are nearly over, and, just like last year, I am the regular season champ, edging out my competition by one game. Also, for the second straight season, I showed Grossman-like poise in the pocket, leading a tremendous come back from 7 games down in the closing weeks to take the lead going into college football's post season. I'd just really like to thank WVU for their late season crumble, as the BC and Pitt games were enough to put me over the top. Kisses for Kay Jay! Bowl Picks should be expected within the next 48 hours.
Thoughts on Chris's Favorites
Now, I have no idea who this "Chris" person is, but he oddly shares the same likes and dislikes as me when it comes to college football. Because he is such a cool dude, I'll give him the credit for the title of this subsection.. Lets take a look at how everyone fared:
TEAMS
PENN STATE: The Love Ya Lions started out hot, destroying everyone's preseason number 1, Akron, in their opener. Sophomore sensations Tony Hunt AND Austin Scott each rushed for over 100 yards, Zack Mills was good enough, and the defense was near flawless. Hopes were soaring in Happy Valley, until the Bad Boys from Boston invited JoePa's posse to their rendition of Dante's Inferno, exposing nearly every PSU weak points in a 21-7 game that was much worse than the score indicates (and did i mention that was only the second game of the season?). Anyway, after beating the Power House Knights of Central Florida, PSU went on a 6 game conference losing streak attributed soley to their offense who put up a mere 40 points in that span. *For those counting, there was 4 points not accounted for, because the defense scored them as safeties in a 6-4 loss to Iowa*. Just when it looked like all was lost though, Penn State squeaked by the eventual Big Ten Champion Indiana Hoosiers, and demoralized Michigan State 37-13 (yes, their offense almost scored more in that game than they did in their first 6 conference games). With that happening, it seems obvious that Paterno has them going in the "right direction", and will be sticking around at least another season. As a lifelong PSU fan, i can only hope they do well enough next year that he feels it's over, and can go out without embarassment.
MIAMI: The U kicked off the season with a game against Florida State, one in which the entire country thought the winner would win the now stacked ACC. The game was a defensive struggle throughout, and 2003's scapegoat Brock Berlin, teamed with traditionally hobbled Frank Gore to make the final 5 minutes of the game perhaps the most exciting of the season, coming back and eventually beating the Seminols in overtime. The Canes would proceed to roll over their next 3 opponents, and treated America to another dramatic win on national television, coming back from a 3 score deficit to beat the Louisville Cardinals on October 14. A win over NC State helped everyone forget the U's mid major scare, and once again the nation was talking about seeing the Canes playing in the Orange Bowl on Jan 4... Enter the North Carolina Tar Heels. I didnt think it was possible. I watched the whole game thinking it was a matter of seconds until the Canes turned it on, and was nearly in tears as UNC's freshman kicker sent the ball through the uprights as time expired. The dream was over in Coral Gables, and a loss the following week to clemson (this time in OT) put an end to not only Miami's national title hopes, but seriously wounded thier conference title hopes as well. After 2 more stellar Berlin performances against Virginia and Wake Forest, the whole season came down to one game against Virginia Tech. It pains me too much to really go into detail, but the Canes were beat for the second time in the same year at the Orange Bowl, and the outright ACC crown was placed on Frank Beamer's royal cranium. There are talks of removing Prince Larry Coker from the head spot, and the U will have to settle for a New Years Eve bowl game against the Florida Gators.
FLORIDA: If Coach Zook and QB Chris Leak had a chance at mega-stardom, this season was it. They were young, but very talented. They didnt get too much hype, but werent pounded into preseason defeat by an unforgiving media. Their aspirations at both the national AND conference levels were dashed in their second game against rival Tennessee. The game could have been theirs, and credit poor officiating for that one. Officials were not the problem, however, in losses against LSU (Totally blew it), Mississippi State (Who wasnt an embarassment to the South Eastern Conference the past few seasons..), and Georgia (who they had every reason in the world to beat, being they beat them something like 13 out of the past 14 seasons AND Poppa Zook lost his job after his showcase performance the previous week against MSU). The Gators closed out the season with a win AT Tallahassee, beating the Seminols on the night they named their field after collegiate legend and head coach, Bobby Bowden. Mr Bowden would not be denied, however, quoted "You have to be fired to make that call" when asked to comment on florida going for it on 4th down inside their own 30 in the waning minutes of the game. Ron Zook lost my respect, and dont expect the Gators to be on this list next year.
TEXAS TECH: One and Done. That phrase equals greatness when it comes to Texas Tech quarterbacks. Sunny Cumbie certainly followed suit, as he passed for 4222 yards and 29 TDs in his first and only season as the Red Raider's signal caller. I dont expect much from TT, as a matter of fact, i like them being a middle of the pack team. Their early season loss to New Mexico didnt bother me, and the Raider's greatness was further examplified by putting up 70 on TCU AND Nebraska. Losses to Texas and Oklahoma were pretty much expected, and their dissapointing loss to A&M was rectified by beating 23rd ranked Oklahoma State in their season finale. Texas Tech was rewarded for their content with just barely above average football with a Rose Bowl bid and will play the Marshall Thundering Herd.
PLAYERS
While i was initially going to have 2 quarterbacks on this list, I was forced to remove Sunny Cumbie after seeing a picture of him with his helmet off. I'll be da**ed if I let a dork like that make my list of top players this season. With that being said, Let's hear it for perhaps the best player to EVER wear a D1A chinstrap, From the University of Hawaii: TIMMY CHANG! Yes he lost 69-3 to Boise State and 70-15 against Fresno, but who cares. The man set the all time Division 1 career passing record, throwing for 3853 yards on 556 attempts, complemented by 34 touchdowns and a 132.53 passer rating. Of all of the nearly 4000 yards he threw for this season, none were as important as the 405 and 416 he threw for in consecutive victories against Northwestern and Michigan State, ensuring hawaii a spot in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl on Christmas Eve against the ever dangerous Alabama Birmingham Dragons. In those 2 games, he also threw for 8 tds and 2 interceptions. 2 picks you say? Yeah, the man threw the ball 105 times in those 2 games. Never before and never again will one person mean as much to a university, or to the sport of football for that matter. Because the NFL is laced with morons and Peyton Manning, Timmy will most likely never set foot on a pro field, and in the event of that tragedy happening, i'd like to right now extend my gratitude to him and his family for providing me with a lifetime's worth of memories the past 4 seasons.
COACHES
Larry Coker: Three losses in one year is nothing less than unacceptable in Coral Gables, Florida.. But before these people go too crazy, lets remember that in his first three seasons he was 35-3. Mr Coker won a national title in his first year at the helm, and under him the Canes have gone to the Rose (W-Nebraska), Fiesta (L-Ohio State), and Orange (W-Florida State) bowls. He was the third winningest coach after 3 seasons all time (behind only walter camp and barry switzer), and led Miami's campaign as the only team to ever play in the 4 major bowls (Orange, Rose, Fiesta, and Sugar) in consecutive seasons. With so many returning next year, along with highly touted Kyle Wright behind center, it is absurd to think this team will not be the favorite in the ACC. As for this year's accomplishments, coaching a young and injury riddled squad, Coker's Canes finished at 8-3 clinching a birth in the Chic Fil A Peach Bowl on Dec 31 against Florida. Prediction: The U by 50.
Steve Spurrier: I love this man with all of my being, and it brings me no greater pleasure than to say he will return to his rightful home, College Football, in 2005. There are already title talks swirling around the GameCockRing of alumni and fans, and rightfully so. We're talking about a man who made Duke respectable, and then went on an incredible run with the Florida Gators, bringing home a national title in 1996. A two year experiment with the NFL's Washington Redskins failed (but with Joe Gibbs' recent struggles, it really makes me scratch my head as to how much of that was really his fault, and after a year off he has decided it is his time to once again lead a middle of the pack school to national prominece. The task shouldnt be too difficult, as SC was far from a pushover this season, and their solid black uni's examplify all that is right with the world. Expect huge battles between the Game Cocks and Florida Gators, as spurrier flirted with a return to the land that made him the legend he is, only to flee the scene and give Urnban Meyer the oppertunity to prove himself on a national stage with a prestegeous program.
UNIFORMS
A List of the sweetest uniforms in College Football (in no particular order) are as follows:
Bowling Green, All Orange
Oregon, All Yellow
Florida, All Blue
Miami, Orange Jerseys and White Pants (with Black socks and black shoes)
South Carolina, All Black
Hawaii, All Black
Florida State, All Red
Troy, Maroon Jerseys
South Florida, All Greens
Virginia Tech, Maroon Jerseys, white pants
Woodland Hills High School, Solid black (DELICIOUS!)
FINGER OF SHAME:
Tennessee for dropping all oranges, it makes me believe that their team was not injury plagued, but rather protesting the Vols dropping these gorgeous but putrid uniforms.
Notre Dame for not wearing green jerseys. I dont care if you're 0-100 when you wear them, if they look good you gotta do it. Like Clinton Portis said after being fined for wearing red socks last week, "You gotta look sweet to play sweet." He did, and guess what, he ran for 150 and 2 TDs. Do yourselves a favor, irish, and look good on the field.
Penn State for keeping the same uniforms but still looking pretty good. Yeah, i like the black shoes with gray accessories (gloves, etc), but if you're only gonna win 4 games a year at least give us Blue pants so there's something to look forward to. Even Bedford got new uniforms, keep up with the times, JoePA.
That concludes the favorites section, now, on to an overall look at the season:
2004 And BEYOND…
BCS
The BCS treated us to yet another blunder, with Auburn going undefeated and not getting a chance to play for the national championship even though they had zero losses playing an SEC schedule. What else do you expect when you drop Strength of Schedule, Losses, Quality wins, etc from the mix and put 2/3 of the system into the hands of the people that made you create it because of their consistent foul ups? Texas squeaks past Cal to get a Rose Bowl bid, and Cal beat So Miss in their last game? That’s the breaks, folks. I’m not really complaining though, as I think Texas and Michigan will match up quite well.. The only bad thing about Cal not being in this game is we will never know how truly good they were, as they stood toe to toe with USC but other than that didn’t really play anyone. Auburn and Vtech? 2 of the most dangerous teams in the country, but it just seems odd to see a Beamer squad in a big time game. Also, a 3 loss Pitt team is playing an undefeated Mid Major program. SMELL THE RATINGS. I don’t care how well pitt has been playing recently, they nearly lost to Furman, DID lose to Nebraska, and play in a schedule who’s strength is rivaled by only the Sun Belt. As for Utah, give me three years, a couple million, some new facilities, and watch me run the table in the Mountain West. What a joke. In a few months there will be about 30 million tear soaked dollars in circulation.
COACHES
Ron Zook showed the world that you can have superstar talent and still be terrible. The Gators losses to Tennessee AND LSU came in the closing minutes, and when teams have an inability to put others away you gotta blame the staff. The MSU loss should have never happened, and by the time that was over there was such a huge emotional tidal wave in the Florida locker room they had no chance against Georgia. Three 5 loss seasons in one of the best programs in the country with one of the five most talented teams in D1A football is very commendable. Welcome to eternal mediocrity, Illinois.
Tyrone Willingham was fired after three seasons as the head man at Notre Dame. I don’t have much to say here that may main man TAE hasn’t already, so I’ll just sum it up by saying he was fired so ND could sign Urban Meyer, who had an exit clause in his contract in the event that Notre Dame offered him a position. Well, Meyer met with ND, but allegedly a deal was already in place with the Gators, leaving Notre Dame and it’s prestige in the cold. I guess they’re talking to Charlie Weis, and what happens there, not too many people care. Don’t be surprised if Willingham is this year’s Tommy Tuberville, getting canned only to have the university come back on its hands and knees after a few weeks of unsuccessful attempts at landing big name coaches. ***BREAKING NEWS, IRISH AND WEIS AGREE TO TERMS. I’LL CALL YOU IN 3 YEARS WHEN YOU NEED A NEW JOB, CHARLIE***
East Carolina’s coach Rich Eisen was fired. Why did I say Rich Eisen? Because I haven’t seen him on tv for quite a while, so the only logical answer is he decided it was time to head a football team and lose a whole bunch of games for a few years. The Purple Pirates hired the highest profile coach they could find, Shaka Holtz-Lu, and are prepared for nothing less than three more years of basement dwelling crap football.
Urban Meyer is leaving Utah after their BCS game to coach the Florida Gators next season. Whoopdie do! That team left such a foul taste in my mouth after their consistent dismal performances this year that I cant help but root against them. Meyer is looking to turn around his third team in as many tries (Bowling Green, Utah-both of whom he pledged his allegiance to and then packed up his bags and left). There’s no excuse why he doesn’t win a national championship within three years there, and I should be happy, but I’m not. For some reason, ever since he took that job I cant stop but thinking he is one of the worst coaches in the country. This is farewell, Florida.. hopefully you’ll perform well next year and I can jump back on your bandwagon.. Until then, so long suckers
UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI STARS
That’s right, Miami is so good that I had to dedicate a whole section just to them. Keep in mind they have 19 first round draft picks the past 4 years.. First on our list, Devin Hester. This sophomore sensation played literally everywhere on the field, both sides of the ball, special teams.. you name it, he did it. He played Receiver, Tailback, saw time at DB when the canes put in their 5 and 6 D back packages (Hester led the canes with 3 picks), and was the most dangerous return man in the country (4 return tds). His 4.2 speed made him a big play threat every time he set foot on the field. Brock Berlin, Coral Gables’ own scapegoat just a season ago, was the main contributor to Miami’s success this season. He led 3 comebacks, passed for 2509 yards, 21 touchdowns and only 5 INTs. He is said to be favored for the ACC player of the year, and I wish him the best in his ventures to the next level. Junior Roscoe Parrish lead all receivers with 39 catches for 630 yards, perhaps none sweeter than his touchdown catch on 4th down to seal the deal against UVA. Parrish also had a punt return for a touchdown this season in that same game. Antrell Rolle is perhaps the most complete defensive player in the country, and his numbers don’t do him justice as it wasn’t very often the ball came his way. Sophomore Baraka Atkins anchored a very young defensive line that is sure to cause all kinds of Atlantic Costal Commotion next season.
PRESEASON TOP 25 (Coaches Poll)
1. USC
2. Oklahoma
3. LSU
4. Georgia
5. Miami
6. Florida State
7. Michigan
8. Texas
9. Ohio State
10. Florida
11. West Virginia
12. Iowa
13. Kansas State
14. Tennessee
15. California
16. Clemson
17. Missouri
18. Auburn
19. Virginia
20. Maryland
21. Utah
22. Wisconsin
23. Minnesota
24. Purdue
25. Oregon
FINAL TOP 25 (Coaches Poll)
1. USC (12-0)
2. Oklahoma (12-0)
3. Auburn (12-0)
4. California (10-1)
5. Texas (10-1)
6. Utah (11-0)
7. Georgia (9-2)
8. Louisville (10-1)
9. Virginia Tech (10-2)
10. Boise State (11-0)
11. LSU (9-2)
12. Michigan (9-2)
13. Iowa (9-2)
14. Miami (8-3)
15. Florida State (8-3)
16. Wisconsin (9-2)
17. Tennessee (9-3)
18. Virginia (8-3)
19. Florida (7-4)
20. Pittsburgh (8-3)
21. Texas Tech (7-4)
22. Ohio State (7-4)
23. West Virginia (8-3)
24. Arizona State (8-3)
25. Texas A&M (7-4)
Its amazing how wrong everyone is about so many teams at the beginning of the season. Now I’m guilty as well, because my preseason poll would have had USC and LSU at the top (because they split the title last year) followed by Miami with your Florida States, etc as well.. What surprised me the most, however was how precise some of the rankings were.. Look at Virginia, Texas, and Iowa, all finishing within 3 spots of where they were ranked in the preseason (USC and OU are right on, but that’s expected with the talent they had and the teams they faced).
SUPRISES
Two teams totally ran away with this one, Virginia Tech and Auburn. Virginia Tech’s journey to the BCS was amazing though, being they weren’t even ranked to start the season, and many had them finishing toward the bottom of the ACC. They were a blown Pass Interference call from going up 3 scores on eventual number one USC and lost by a missed field goal in the closing seconds to NC State. 2 plays from perhaps playing in the Orange Bowl.. Ouch.. Auburn is a mini Cinderella story in its own. Tuberville was fired, and rehired, and never looked back. Ronnie Brown and Cadillac Williams ran all over everyone, and Jason Campbell did more than enough to provide the Tigers with the SEC title. It’s a shame they ran the table in a conference as tough as the SEC and have nothing to show for it, as a Sugar bowl birth should be considered a dissapointment. The irony of it all is these two teams will be playing one another in January, so as they say in theatre, “And the plot thickens…”
Also, LSU finished at a very quiet 9-2, and even though they won the title last year, no one gave them much credit for anything after week one. Mike Price has turned UTEP into a super-human football juggernaut, who relies on victories to fuel his internal furnace. Finally, Louisville proved to the world in their encounter with the Hurricanes that they are more than ready to play in a major conference, and their 10-1 record is no joke. Now, they wont be putting up 60 a game in the Big East, but as of right now they should undoubtedly be the favorite to win it next year.
DISAPOINTMENTS
Three words, Lets Gooooooooooooooo Mountaineeeeeeeeeeeeeeers! Way too many people fed into the hype surrounding this team, and, as myself and TAE predicted, it all unraveled for RichRod and his blue and yellow army. Rasheed Marshal has more rushing yards than Mike Vick, but please remember Vicks numbers came in his freshman and sophomore seasons. Chris Henry kicked people, and there is a very overrated player with the nickname PacMan who received media attention not because of his play, but rather his irritating alias.
I’ve bashed Florida enough in this post already, but for the last time, there was no excuse for this team to not finish in the top 5. They didn’t play Auburn, and did have a stacked team on both sides of the ball. What happened? Ask Saksa, cause I sure as hell don’t know. It was a total meltdown in Gainesville, and now that the Zook is loose, we’ll see what Urban “Captain Turnaround” Meyer can do when he enters Chomp City next season. 14 losses in three seasons isn’t even acceptable by Marshall’s standards, and it happened to a team with the prominence of Florida? Shame Shame
Miami. It honestly pains me to type these letters, but I would have had to include them in this section even if they only lost one game. They are the most talented team in the country. No one has caused the damage they have on a national level the past 25 years. They have 19 first round draft picks in the past 4 years (second best is 6), and this was their first year in the ACC, a year to make their impression felt. Tragically, the U lost to traditional bottom feeders UNC and Clemson, and capped off the regular season with a 16-10 defeat suffered at the hands of Virginia Tech. That’s two in a row to the Hokies, and the latter was a game at the Orange Bowl. That’s gonna be the one circled on the calender for next year, folks, but until then, it’s F.Beam’s time in the sunshine.
Fresno State. Their loss to UTEP doesn’t seem so bad now, but the loss to LA Tech sure does. This was the team that Mark May predicted would jump all the way to number 2 and be the first non BCS team to play for the national championship. Tech put an end to that talk real quick, and the UTEP loss as well as a beat down at the hands of Boise State soon followed. I’m sure their in a bowl game, I just have no idea what it is, and at this point in time, don’t really care.
AWARDS WINNERS
Matt Leinart won the Heisman, and it is a joyus occasion and a shame at the same time. Him winning the award is wonderful because Jason White didn’t go down in history as only the second player to win it twice (and first not to deserve it either time), and a mockery of the system because Leinart wasn’t even the best player on his own team. That title belongs to a Mr. Reggie Bush, who didn’t win any awards this previous Thursday or the Big One. Bush averaged 180 yards a game, scored 15 times and was a threat rushing, receiving, and returning. The man even had a passing touchdown! He is only a sophomore though, and as long as the person calling signals next season can get the ball to him he should be a front runner again.
Other Award winners were Cedric Benson winning the Doak Walker for best RB (it’s a real shame that he wasn’t a finalist for the Heisman and Adrian Peterson was), Jason White winning Outstanding QB And the Maxwell (Outstanding All Around Player), Edwards taking home Outstanding Receiver, Urban Meyer winning Coach of the Year, and Leinart winning the Walter Camp award. It doesn’t make sense to me that people didn’t even vote Leinart the best at his position, let alone the best player in the country, and he comes up a winner tonight. I wanted to end this paragraph with a witty comment or quote but cant think of any, so on to the next section..
And now, for the grand finale, DeBiceps’ Awards and All America Team:
AWARDS
John Saksa Award
-Given to a person that plays for the Florida Gators that got no hype for any big time award because his team played like crap-ola:
CHRIS LEAK, UF
R. Debias Award
-Given to the player who best personifies a killer instinct
CEDRIC BENSON, TEXAS
Ron Zook Award (Formerly “Could Have Done Better” Award)
-Given to the player or coach who had the biggest opportunity to do something respectable with a big time program, but didn’t.
RON ZOOK, UF-ILLINOIS
Jesse Scott Award
-Given to the player who had an excellent YPC average but touched the ball about 5 times a game, making the nation question the coach and wonder if something happened off the field that wasn’t necessarily made public
AUSTIN SCOTT, PSU
David Boston Award
-Given to the player with the most impressive physique in college football
BRADY QUINN, NOTRE DAME
The Haley Award
-Given to the player who is a physical beast but isn’t very intelligent
FRANK GORE, U MIAMI
The Kodiak Award
-Given to the player that everyone liked a whole lot but didn’t do much of anything
PACMAN JONES, WVU
B.J. Symmons Award
-Given to the quarterback who racked up a whole bunch of yards in his first and only season at starter
SUNNY CUMBIE, TEXAS TECH
Eric Trout Award
-Given to the player who made big plays on both offense AND defense in a season
DEVIN HESTER, U MIAMI
Bryan Kudlawiec Award
-Outstanding quarterback
BROCK BERLIN, U MIAMI
Dave Batista Award
-Given to the player who had a huge impact on his team’s success and also has a whole bunch of tattoos
CHAD OWENS, HAWAII
Steve Spurrier/Larry Coker Award
-Coach of the Year
Mike Price, UTEP
C. Debias Award
-Given to the best player in the country. This person had to miss an extended period of time in at least one season due to injury. Player must also exemplify a love for throwing the ball all of the time, and have a disregard for turnovers or losing a bunch of games, so long as he has sweet numbers.
TIMMY CHANG, HAWAII
ALL AMERICANS
OFFENSE
QB: Timmy Chang, Hawaii
RB: Cedric Benson, Texas
RB: Reggie Bush, USC
TE: Greg Olsen, Miami
OL: Abe Kmetz, Forest Hills High School- Class of 2003
OL: Jammal Brown, OU
OL: Orlando Pace, St Louis Rams
OL: N/A
OL: N/A
WR: Chad Owens, Hawaii
WR: Roscoe Parrish, Miami
WR: Braylon Edwards, Michigan
Specialist: Devin Hester, Miami
DEFENSE
DL: Baraka Atkins, Miami
DL: Erasmus James, Wisconsin
DL: Marcus Spears, LSU
DL: David Pollak, Georgia
LB: Paul Posluszny, Penn State
LB: Channing Crowder, Florida
LB: Derrick Johnson, Texas
DB: Antrel Rolle, Miami
DB: Anthony Reddick, Miami
DB: Reynaldo Hill, Florida
DB: Carlos Rogers, Auburn
Thank you everyone for reading.. Happy Holidays
Last edited by DeBiceps on September 20th, 2011, 12:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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gators_own_u
- Freshman
- Posts: 40
- Joined: November 1st, 2004, 2:48 pm
Re: 2004 NCAA Wrap Up
i must say debiceps and ancient enemy have had the best posts on this site, i appreciate your effort guys.. letssssss gooooooooo mountainneersssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!
Last edited by gators_own_u on September 20th, 2011, 12:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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HOLLYWOOD
- Official BleacherCoach
- Posts: 2765
- Joined: August 21st, 2003, 1:07 pm
- Location: Boulder, CO
Re: 2004 NCAA Wrap Up
none of you three stooogies have a clue!! I guess some need to feel go about themselves that don't do anything in life!! Letsssssss Gooooooooo Mountaineers!!
Last edited by HOLLYWOOD on September 20th, 2011, 12:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: 2004 NCAA Wrap Up
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you dont do much with your life either.. being that you post on here 23 hours a day..
Kisses!
Kisses!
Last edited by DeBiceps on September 20th, 2011, 12:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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The Ancient Enemy
- Official BleacherCoach
- Posts: 7549
- Joined: October 30th, 2004, 2:47 pm
Re: 2004 NCAA Wrap Up
Lengthy and well-written, that's how he roll. When you are a member of the Toof N Nail fraternity, you are automatically a great writer and an even greater mind. You too can be a member of the TNN fraternity by submitting an application, but your application will be rejected. I am very sorry, but that is the rules. I do not make the rules and neither does DeBiceps, but rather the rules are created and enforced by The Official TNN Rule-Maker Ronnie James Dio.
Speaking to Dio about new memberships generally ends with him saying things like "Don't smell the flowers, they're an evil drug that will make you lose your mind."
On to the show!
I, too, would like to thank Bleacher Coaches for providing such an awesome site. The whole LHSports fiasco really put a damper on things, because we had written so many posts over there that I wanted to save. Then the administrator decided to turn it into a pay site, right in the middle of the football season. That was really a bad decision, and it left a bad taste in a lot of mouths. Had there been a warning, it would have been different. But they (he) decided to do what he did, and as far as I've been hearing not too many people stuck around. This site is a lot easier to use, it's more fun to use, more people post in the NCAA forum, and it's not ten dollars a year. It's not the price, it's the principle of the thing. Besides, I am not going to pay for something I don't want, right? I don't care about video clips of high school games. The only reason why I'd want to see that is so I can see how the uniforms have changed from one season to the next. I can get that by asking somebody. But enough of all that. Thank you Bleacher Coaches for allowing myself and DeBiceps and gators_own_you and the rest of the LHSports people to come over here and hang out.
WAR GAMES: THE MATCH BEYOND
The annual wing challenge between myself and DeBiceps is slowly grinding to a halt. This year's collision was no disappointment. Once again, fans were on the edge of their seats, as I charged out to a big lead, and then DeBiceps slowly mounted a comeback, like the kid from the streets who is in there duking it out with the heavyweight champion of the world. Really, it's much like Sting and Ric Flair. I'm a little older, a little wiser, he's younger, and up and coming. I had longer hair, his is always short. I wear flowing gowns, he paints his face. I was a member of the Four Horsemen, so was he but I turned on him and attacked him as the Black Scorpion. I'm from Charlotte, he's from California. I'm a little heavier than he is, he's more cut-up than I am. I'm a seasoned veteran, he's the young lion with the heart of a winner. I'm hated and feared by all, he is adored by the crowds. I have lucious hair, he has a blond rat tail. I was groomed to be a champion by Buddy Rogers and Leo Barkley, he was groomed by whoever trained Sting, and Jimmy Grosik.
The similarities are uncanny.
He holds a one game lead going into the bowl season. The final bowl picks will be posted very shortly.
FAVORITE TEAMS:
PENN STATE: Fran Ganter got the boot and in came former Penn State quarterback Galen Hall to take over the offense. Excitement abounded as the Lions were all set to head in a new direction under Hall, after serious offensive debacles which appeared to have transpired under Fran Ganter. The Lions came out of the gate strong, looking better than they had in years. Then the playcalling started to catch up. Then the offense broke down. Then everyone realized nothing had changed. Ganter left, and the playcalling stayed the same. That can only lead to one thing: Fran Ganter was not calling the plays at Penn State. And, of course, neither was Galen Hall, a season later. So who was responsible for this? Well, being that one guy left and a new guy took over without any changes, that obviously meant the man responsible was someone who was there through both. But not only was Joe Paterno the man calling these flaws plays, also responsible was long time favorite Jay Paterno, who is crediting with developing a very amazing recruiting plan in which you do not contact recruits, but rather they contact you instead. That is quite the plan, indeed. It is also quite arrogant of an idea, being that PSU has recently fallen on hard times. Those hard times have however produced something very strange and very interesting. During this period of lackluster football, Penn State has seen possibly the best player they've ever had, on each side of the ball. Larry Johnson is thought of in many Penn State minds as the best player that has ever played for the Nittany Lions. On the other side of the ball, sophomore terror Paul Posluszny is quite possibly already the best defensive player Penn State has ever seen. For a very long time, my favorite players from Penn State that I personally ever witnessed on the field were Blair Thomas and Brian Gelzheiser, on offense and defense respectively. It's very possible that Johnson is the best offensive player to ever play for Penn State, and Posluszny already flies all over the field better than Gelzheiser on his best day. That is not to diminish the former 4 time letterman one bit. The fact that these two players, Johnson and Posluszny, have played for Penn State during such a time is astounding given how many greats have played on both sides of the ball, and on over-all great teams. Posluszny has two more years to silence any doubters about his greatness, and he'll do it. Dan Connor has the potential to be even better than Posluszny. The current PSU defense is unbelievable, and also features a player who is possibility in the top 3 or 4 hardest-hitters I have seen at PSU, in Alan Zemaitis. If the offense gets better, Penn State might be a 9-2 team or better next season, fighting for the conference title the whole way through. They just need to let the offensive coordinator do his job.
A rare photo: Far left, a man who may or may not be my father, and all his Beaverdale buddies pack up the "truck" to head up to Beaver Stadium to see the Nit Wits in a 1973 battle against non-conference super-opponent Georgia Wesleyan
MIAMI: At the beginning of this season, I said that Miami would beat USC for the national championship. I still believe that this is the best team in the country, regardless of record. Next season, USC and Miami return everything basically intact. That is my call for the 2005 national title game as well. This year, the Canes had a let down against a mediocre North Carolina team, and of course was too off track to bounce back the next week. They played the most dangerous team on their schedule... I did NOT say the best team, but the most dangerous... in the Clemson Tigers. They lost, again. Then the Canes got back on track and eventually lost to the Hokies, which ended up being no real surprise based on how well Tech played down the stretch. People forget that Virginia Tech was possibly one bad call away from playing for the national title. Hard to say if they would have still lost that game to NC State. Now Miami gets a shot at Florida in the Peach Bowl, and that's truly a blessing in disguise. They'll pound Florida, and pick up a few more recruits in the process. You cannot deny NFL Coral Gables. It doesn't matter who they are up against, this team can beat anyone at any time, even without a coaching staff.
Unfortunately, Hurricane Gino rated about a .00007 on the NFL seismograph.
TEXAS TECH: This program couldn't possibly be any more beautiful. Mike Leach gets these quarterbacks (through scholarships and walk-ons) and grooms them for 3 seasons. Then, their senior year, they step up to the plate and throw for 500 yards a game. The Texas Tech quarterback system is unbelievable. Right now on that roster is a kid from nearby Ennis, Texas and I guarantee you he'll be the best quarterback to come out of Texas Tech. Graham Harrell is currently a freshman, so you'll have to wait a few years to see this kid destroy defenses, but it'll be worth the wait. He rained hell all over high school teams his senior season, even beating Denton Ryan, and he is the stereotypical tall, skinny, fast, rocket-launcher Texas Tech quarterback. Next year, Tech will usher in a new starter. I don't know his name, and I don't wanna know it until the season starts. But he'll be one of the best QB's in the country, and no one will care one bit.
Lookin' good, Sonny Cumbie. Still scorin' 4 TD's a night with all the ladies of Lubbock.
PLAYERS
"Let's hear it for perhaps the best player to EVER wear a D1A chinstrap, From the University of Hawaii: TIMMY CHANG! Yes he lost 69-3 to Boise State and 70-15 against Fresno, but who cares. The man set the all time Division 1 career passing record, throwing for 3853 yards on 556 attempts, complemented by 34 touchdowns and a 132.53 passer rating. Of all of the nearly 4000 yards he threw for this season, none were as important as the 405 and 416 he threw for in consecutive victories against Northwestern and Michigan State, ensuring hawaii a spot in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl on Christmas Eve against the ever dangerous Alabama Birmingham Dragons. In those 2 games, he also threw for 8 tds and 2 interceptions. 2 picks you say? Yeah, the man threw the ball 105 times in those 2 games. Never before and never again will one person mean as much to a university, or to the sport of football for that matter. Because the NFL is laced with morons and Peyton Manning, Timmy will most likely never set foot on a pro field, and in the event of that tragedy happening, i'd like to right now extend my gratitude to him and his family for providing me with a lifetime's worth of memories the past 4 seasons."
TELL IT LIKE IT IS, DEBICEPS, TELL IT LIKE IT IS.
According to the internet, this is a picture of former Los Angeles Rams quarterback Jim Everett.
UNIFORMS
A List of the sweetest uniforms in College Football (in no particular order) are as follows:
Penn State both ways: beauty in simplicity.
Bowling Green home: all orange, all perfect. I am in love with that logo.
Miami in all whites: just enough detail to make them look marvelous.
Ohio State both ways: stayed true to their history
Michigan both ways: same as OSU
Pittsburgh in blues
Texas Tech in all black
Michigan State in all green
UCLA home
Hawaii home
Florida in blues
Virginia Tech's new uni's both ways
Southern Mississippi at home
Bringham Young home
Oregon in all yellow's and all green's
South Carolina all black
FINGER OF SHAME:
This goes to Clemson for wearing those horrible, horrible purple jerseys. What happened to Clemson being dark blue and orange? Now they're purple? Tulsa in all gold is another one. What is the matter with these people? I also absolutely cannot stand Colorado's away uniforms with those white pants. Same goes for Florida State. Temple went back to the old logo and disregarded their sweet white helmets with that awesome owl logo. Come on, guys. And last and certain least: East Carolina, home and away. You are purple and yellow, you are the Pirates, you are named after a state that does not exist, you are the worst football program in I-A, and your coach is Spanky Holtz.
Not cool, Bill Cosby.
2004 And BEYOND
The thing I want to comment on here are the coaching changes for 2005. Utah will get 14 million dollars for a BCS berth. They also play in the Mountain West, which is not big-time football. They do not have drawing power for recruiting, as the BCS conferences all do. So Meyer leaves Utah and what do the Utes do? Promote their defensive coordinator to be the next head coach. Now, with 14 million dollars, and a very, very, very strong chance that your program is completely finished since your entire offensive system just moved to Gainesville, why wouldn't you go out and pay a top caliber coach, with name recognition, to come in there and keep the ball rolling? Folks, if you think anyone in Utah besides Urban Meyer had anything to do with that offense, or their success, you might need medication and I recommend you go see a doctor immediately. Utah is finished. They will never play in a BCS bowl ever again, and as soon as this season is over (2005), you won't even remember who Utah is. Unbelievable. Then you have the MAC, a conference that is getting good press this season and last. Almost every team in the MAC has a coach with less than 3 years of experience. Why? Because they want that money, and they seemingly want to compete for it. Only problem is, they don't have the pesos to hire someone like Butch Davis or Rick Neuheisel. So they go after an up and comer and hope for the best. Here's the thing: Western Michigan gets rid of their coach. Former NFL head coach Wayne Fontz, who spent years on the Detroit sideline, expresses interest in the vacancy. What that basically means is that Fontz will coach relatively cheaply, and WMU has the upper hand because THEY were contacted by Fontz. So they go out and hire Bill Cubit. Bill Cubit was the offensive coordinator at Stanford. When is the last time you heard anything good about Stanford? It was 1999 with Ty Willingham as the head coach. This is a ridiculous decision by WMU, but I guess you can't expect any more from a school named We are Masters of the Universe. BYU is also a team on the rise. After the Cougars and Utes had a tug-o-war match over Utah defensive coordinator Kyle Whittingham, the Cougars were forced to look elsewhere when they lost the battle. Even with 14 million dollars on the line, BYU decides not to pursue a coach with any name recognition, and to stick to some kind of ridiculous code of honor about hiring a Mormon coach. Guess what, guys... they're ain't many Mormons to begin with, let alone quality head coaches. Also, fellas, do the math. Lavell Edwards never would have won that national championship, or played for it, if today's system was in place. But let's be fair and keep in mind here that BYU isn't totally the bottom of the barrel. They do have some prestige left, and they do have sweet jerseys. So they promote their own defensive coordinator as head coach. Nice job. In case you live in a cave, BYU's defense is dog****. East Carolina is up next. While flirting with a Big East berth (a conference with a guaranteed BCS bid worth 14 million dollars), the Pirates decide it is not worth it to try and look like a more inticing candidate to the Big East. They decide it is not worth their while to get a coach who can attract some players and possibly have a winning season and bowl berth in 2005. They go out and hire Spanky Holtz, who was not only quickly shown the door by Steve Spurrier, but was also demoted by his own father. Excellent job, East Carolina. Way to go for the gold. Utah State fired Mike Dennehy, and no one cares or ever should. Utah State is going to be a member of the WAC now, and getting rid of Dennehy shows they are ready to start moving in the right direction. I don't remember who got the job, probably the first guy who raised his hand when they asked who wanted to coach at "Utah State". Charlie Weis took over at Notre Dame, good luck, you're gonna need it. Willingham took over at Washington, and good luck, because you are also going to need it. Harris goes to Stanford, and I'm sure they'll regret that almost as much as Pitt is going to regret dishing out an enormous amount of money to some joker like Dave Wannstedt. The only thing I am going to say about Ron Zook is the fact that Illinois just gave out 14 million dollars over 7 years to a guy who could not win games with the second best pool of talent in the United States. What do you think Zook is going to do with that terrible Illini team?
I stumbled across this woman's photo while looking up a picture of the new Temple helmets. She certainly has a unique and surprising hotness, but is probably a convicted murderer.
SUPRISES
It's hard not to give this one to Virginia Tech. Most folks had them finishing seventh in the ACC. They are playing great ball right now, and will give Auburn all they can handle. Other surprises worth mentioning are Alabama, who is possibly the best 6-5 team I've ever seen in college football. UTEP completely turned around, Louisville was much better than people thought, Marshall flopped completely, Virginia once again showed they are still not ready to win big games, West Virginia tanked just as hard as all sensible analysts thought they would, Maryland had a terrible season, and Pittsburgh (in my opinion) won the Big East. They weren't expected to be any higher than .500. Fresno State was also a big-time letdown. When is Pat Hill going to realize that he jinxs every one of his teams with his idiotic comments?
AWARD WINNERS
Heisman Trophy: We'll start with the big one. Matt Leinart takes home the 25 pound bronze statue. Hey, at least Jason White didn't win it, or Adrian Peterson. Whiet didn't deserve it because he's not the best quarterback in the country, and because his teeth are all rotten. Peterson didn't deserve it because he's the third best running back in the country. Alex Smith shouldn't even have been at that ceremony over Cedric Benson. Reggie Bush is clearly the best player in the country, but I can stomach Leinart, I suppose.
Maxwell Award: Supposedly given to the year's most outstanding player. Well, given that Jason White does one thing, and Reggie Bush dominated the regular season by doing 800 things, none of which could be stopped, you tell me who should have won the award. Also, Jason White needs to see a dentist, and possibly buy Rogaine.
Walter Camp Award: Supposedly given to the player of the year. Hmm, that sounds a lot like the Heisman. And the Maxwell. Leinart won, whatever.
Dick Butkus Award: Given to the best linebacker of the season. Derrick Johnson went home with it, and I can't argue with that.
Outland Trophy: Given to the best interior lineman. OU's Jammal Brown took it, no harm done.
Bednarik Award: Defensive player of the year, goes to David Pollack. Why have I seen 15 Georgia games and never seen Pollack do much of anything? But I have certainly heard about him, no doubt, 24 hours a day.
Davey O'Brien: National quarterback award, given in 04 to Jason White. Toothbrush not included.
Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award*: Jason White.
*Special Note: the Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award unfortunately does not include a dental plan.
Doak Walker: finally we see Cedric Benson.
Biletnikoff Award: Braylon Edwards. For all his accomplishments, I'll never forget that dropped 5 yard pass against Ohio State that cost them the game.
Jim Thorpe: Carlos Rogers.
John Mackey: this year's top tight end is Heath Miller.
Lou Groza: Mike Nugent. No relation to Ted, but there should definitely be squealing guitars and men shooting animals with bows everytime Mike makes a field goal.
Bronko Nagurski: Derrick Johnson
Ray Guy Award: Daniel Sepulveda from Baylor. He had a hell of a lot of practice.
Vince Lombardi Award: David Pollack. Hurray!
THE 2004 ANCIENT ENEMY AWARDS CEREMONY:
John SaSKa Award:
-Given to the player of the year who's name should be pronounced differently than it is spelled, or a player who has a great name:
Ibok Ibok -- LB -- UTEP
Toothbrush Award:
-Given to the player who needs to brush his teeth
Jason White -- QB -- Oklahoma
The Abe Kmetz Middle Tennessee State Trophy:
- Given to the best player from MTSU or the number one fan of the season. Must exemplify the meaning and essence of Murfreesboro, Tn.
Abe Kmetz -- "offensive lineman" -- "St. Francis"
Zack Mills Award:
- Given to a guy who has started for 3 or 4 seasons and not really done anything
Zack Mills -- QB -- Penn State
Alphonso the King of Texas presents "Alphonso's King of Texas" Award:
- Given to the best player from the state of Texas
Cedric Benson -- RB -- Texas
Flop-Artist of the Year Award:
- Given to the biggest flop of the season
Chris Rix -- QB -- Florida State
Bone-head Player of the Year Award:
- Given to the stupidest player of the year
Reggie Ball -- QB -- Georgia Tech
Cruk the Caveman Analyst presents "Cruk Award":
- Given to the player Cruk feels is the best player of the season
Baraka Atkins -- DE -- Miami
Walt Harris Trophy:
- Given to a player who's head coach gets another job because of the player's own on-field heroics
Tyler Palko -- QB -- Pittsburgh
Tom Landry's "Coach of the Year" Award:
- Given to the best coaching accomplishment of the season
Mike Price -- UTEP
Arms A-Plenty Award:
- Given to the player with the biggest arms on Earth
Robert McCune -- MLB -- Louisville
Craptacular Heisman Trophy:
- Given to the best player on a team who is 3-9 or worse
Walter Washington -- QB -- Temple
Here it is, folks... the big one...
The 2004 Awesome Elephant is...
University of Hawaii quarterback Timmy Chang
THE 2004 ALL-ENEMY TEAM:
1ST TEAM OFFENSE:
QB: Timmy Chang -- Hawaii
RB: Cedric Benson -- Texas
RB: Adrian Peterson -- Oklahoma
FB: Kevin Dudley -- Michigan
TE: Heath Miller -- Virginia
LINE: Oklahoma
WR: Mike Larkin -- Miami Ohio
WR: Chad Owens -- Hawaii
WR: Braylon Edwards -- Michigan
Specialist: Reggie Bush -- USC
1ST TEAM DEFENSE:
DL: Baraka Atkins -- Miami
DL: Erasmus James -- Wisconsin
DL: Marcus Spears -- LSU
DL: Demarcus Ware -- Troy
LB: Paul Posluszny -- Penn State
LB: Kevin Burnett -- Tennessee
LB: Derrick Johnson, Texas
DB: Antrel Rolle -- Miami
DB: Diamond Ferri -- Syracuse
DB: Reynaldo Hill -- Florida
DB: Dustin Fox -- Ohio State
2ND TEAM OFFENSE:
QB: Jason Campbell -- Auburn
RB: Ryan Moats -- Louisiana Tech
RB: Scooter McDougal -- Toledo
FB: Quadtrine Hill -- Miami
TE: Greg Olsen -- Miami
LINE: Auburn
WR: Roscoe Parrish -- Miami
WR: Craphonso Thorpe -- Florida State
WR: Dwayne Jarrett -- USC
Specialist: Ashlan Davis -- Tulsa
2ND TEAM DEFENSE:
DL: David Pollack -- Georgia
DL: Simon Frasier -- Ohio State
DL: Chris Canty -- Virginia
DL: Dan Cody -- Oklahoma
LB: Robert McCune -- Louisville
LB: Kirk Morrison -- San Diego State
LB: AJ Hawk -- Ohio State
DB: Alan Zemaitis -- Penn State
DB: EJ Underwood -- Ohio State
DB: Thomas Davis -- Georgia
DB: Ernest Shazor -- Michigan
Until next year, ladies.
Speaking to Dio about new memberships generally ends with him saying things like "Don't smell the flowers, they're an evil drug that will make you lose your mind."
On to the show!
I, too, would like to thank Bleacher Coaches for providing such an awesome site. The whole LHSports fiasco really put a damper on things, because we had written so many posts over there that I wanted to save. Then the administrator decided to turn it into a pay site, right in the middle of the football season. That was really a bad decision, and it left a bad taste in a lot of mouths. Had there been a warning, it would have been different. But they (he) decided to do what he did, and as far as I've been hearing not too many people stuck around. This site is a lot easier to use, it's more fun to use, more people post in the NCAA forum, and it's not ten dollars a year. It's not the price, it's the principle of the thing. Besides, I am not going to pay for something I don't want, right? I don't care about video clips of high school games. The only reason why I'd want to see that is so I can see how the uniforms have changed from one season to the next. I can get that by asking somebody. But enough of all that. Thank you Bleacher Coaches for allowing myself and DeBiceps and gators_own_you and the rest of the LHSports people to come over here and hang out.
WAR GAMES: THE MATCH BEYOND
The annual wing challenge between myself and DeBiceps is slowly grinding to a halt. This year's collision was no disappointment. Once again, fans were on the edge of their seats, as I charged out to a big lead, and then DeBiceps slowly mounted a comeback, like the kid from the streets who is in there duking it out with the heavyweight champion of the world. Really, it's much like Sting and Ric Flair. I'm a little older, a little wiser, he's younger, and up and coming. I had longer hair, his is always short. I wear flowing gowns, he paints his face. I was a member of the Four Horsemen, so was he but I turned on him and attacked him as the Black Scorpion. I'm from Charlotte, he's from California. I'm a little heavier than he is, he's more cut-up than I am. I'm a seasoned veteran, he's the young lion with the heart of a winner. I'm hated and feared by all, he is adored by the crowds. I have lucious hair, he has a blond rat tail. I was groomed to be a champion by Buddy Rogers and Leo Barkley, he was groomed by whoever trained Sting, and Jimmy Grosik.
The similarities are uncanny.
He holds a one game lead going into the bowl season. The final bowl picks will be posted very shortly.
FAVORITE TEAMS:
PENN STATE: Fran Ganter got the boot and in came former Penn State quarterback Galen Hall to take over the offense. Excitement abounded as the Lions were all set to head in a new direction under Hall, after serious offensive debacles which appeared to have transpired under Fran Ganter. The Lions came out of the gate strong, looking better than they had in years. Then the playcalling started to catch up. Then the offense broke down. Then everyone realized nothing had changed. Ganter left, and the playcalling stayed the same. That can only lead to one thing: Fran Ganter was not calling the plays at Penn State. And, of course, neither was Galen Hall, a season later. So who was responsible for this? Well, being that one guy left and a new guy took over without any changes, that obviously meant the man responsible was someone who was there through both. But not only was Joe Paterno the man calling these flaws plays, also responsible was long time favorite Jay Paterno, who is crediting with developing a very amazing recruiting plan in which you do not contact recruits, but rather they contact you instead. That is quite the plan, indeed. It is also quite arrogant of an idea, being that PSU has recently fallen on hard times. Those hard times have however produced something very strange and very interesting. During this period of lackluster football, Penn State has seen possibly the best player they've ever had, on each side of the ball. Larry Johnson is thought of in many Penn State minds as the best player that has ever played for the Nittany Lions. On the other side of the ball, sophomore terror Paul Posluszny is quite possibly already the best defensive player Penn State has ever seen. For a very long time, my favorite players from Penn State that I personally ever witnessed on the field were Blair Thomas and Brian Gelzheiser, on offense and defense respectively. It's very possible that Johnson is the best offensive player to ever play for Penn State, and Posluszny already flies all over the field better than Gelzheiser on his best day. That is not to diminish the former 4 time letterman one bit. The fact that these two players, Johnson and Posluszny, have played for Penn State during such a time is astounding given how many greats have played on both sides of the ball, and on over-all great teams. Posluszny has two more years to silence any doubters about his greatness, and he'll do it. Dan Connor has the potential to be even better than Posluszny. The current PSU defense is unbelievable, and also features a player who is possibility in the top 3 or 4 hardest-hitters I have seen at PSU, in Alan Zemaitis. If the offense gets better, Penn State might be a 9-2 team or better next season, fighting for the conference title the whole way through. They just need to let the offensive coordinator do his job.
A rare photo: Far left, a man who may or may not be my father, and all his Beaverdale buddies pack up the "truck" to head up to Beaver Stadium to see the Nit Wits in a 1973 battle against non-conference super-opponent Georgia Wesleyan
MIAMI: At the beginning of this season, I said that Miami would beat USC for the national championship. I still believe that this is the best team in the country, regardless of record. Next season, USC and Miami return everything basically intact. That is my call for the 2005 national title game as well. This year, the Canes had a let down against a mediocre North Carolina team, and of course was too off track to bounce back the next week. They played the most dangerous team on their schedule... I did NOT say the best team, but the most dangerous... in the Clemson Tigers. They lost, again. Then the Canes got back on track and eventually lost to the Hokies, which ended up being no real surprise based on how well Tech played down the stretch. People forget that Virginia Tech was possibly one bad call away from playing for the national title. Hard to say if they would have still lost that game to NC State. Now Miami gets a shot at Florida in the Peach Bowl, and that's truly a blessing in disguise. They'll pound Florida, and pick up a few more recruits in the process. You cannot deny NFL Coral Gables. It doesn't matter who they are up against, this team can beat anyone at any time, even without a coaching staff.
Unfortunately, Hurricane Gino rated about a .00007 on the NFL seismograph.
TEXAS TECH: This program couldn't possibly be any more beautiful. Mike Leach gets these quarterbacks (through scholarships and walk-ons) and grooms them for 3 seasons. Then, their senior year, they step up to the plate and throw for 500 yards a game. The Texas Tech quarterback system is unbelievable. Right now on that roster is a kid from nearby Ennis, Texas and I guarantee you he'll be the best quarterback to come out of Texas Tech. Graham Harrell is currently a freshman, so you'll have to wait a few years to see this kid destroy defenses, but it'll be worth the wait. He rained hell all over high school teams his senior season, even beating Denton Ryan, and he is the stereotypical tall, skinny, fast, rocket-launcher Texas Tech quarterback. Next year, Tech will usher in a new starter. I don't know his name, and I don't wanna know it until the season starts. But he'll be one of the best QB's in the country, and no one will care one bit.
Lookin' good, Sonny Cumbie. Still scorin' 4 TD's a night with all the ladies of Lubbock.
PLAYERS
"Let's hear it for perhaps the best player to EVER wear a D1A chinstrap, From the University of Hawaii: TIMMY CHANG! Yes he lost 69-3 to Boise State and 70-15 against Fresno, but who cares. The man set the all time Division 1 career passing record, throwing for 3853 yards on 556 attempts, complemented by 34 touchdowns and a 132.53 passer rating. Of all of the nearly 4000 yards he threw for this season, none were as important as the 405 and 416 he threw for in consecutive victories against Northwestern and Michigan State, ensuring hawaii a spot in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl on Christmas Eve against the ever dangerous Alabama Birmingham Dragons. In those 2 games, he also threw for 8 tds and 2 interceptions. 2 picks you say? Yeah, the man threw the ball 105 times in those 2 games. Never before and never again will one person mean as much to a university, or to the sport of football for that matter. Because the NFL is laced with morons and Peyton Manning, Timmy will most likely never set foot on a pro field, and in the event of that tragedy happening, i'd like to right now extend my gratitude to him and his family for providing me with a lifetime's worth of memories the past 4 seasons."
TELL IT LIKE IT IS, DEBICEPS, TELL IT LIKE IT IS.
According to the internet, this is a picture of former Los Angeles Rams quarterback Jim Everett.
UNIFORMS
A List of the sweetest uniforms in College Football (in no particular order) are as follows:
Penn State both ways: beauty in simplicity.
Bowling Green home: all orange, all perfect. I am in love with that logo.
Miami in all whites: just enough detail to make them look marvelous.
Ohio State both ways: stayed true to their history
Michigan both ways: same as OSU
Pittsburgh in blues
Texas Tech in all black
Michigan State in all green
UCLA home
Hawaii home
Florida in blues
Virginia Tech's new uni's both ways
Southern Mississippi at home
Bringham Young home
Oregon in all yellow's and all green's
South Carolina all black
FINGER OF SHAME:
This goes to Clemson for wearing those horrible, horrible purple jerseys. What happened to Clemson being dark blue and orange? Now they're purple? Tulsa in all gold is another one. What is the matter with these people? I also absolutely cannot stand Colorado's away uniforms with those white pants. Same goes for Florida State. Temple went back to the old logo and disregarded their sweet white helmets with that awesome owl logo. Come on, guys. And last and certain least: East Carolina, home and away. You are purple and yellow, you are the Pirates, you are named after a state that does not exist, you are the worst football program in I-A, and your coach is Spanky Holtz.
Not cool, Bill Cosby.
2004 And BEYOND
The thing I want to comment on here are the coaching changes for 2005. Utah will get 14 million dollars for a BCS berth. They also play in the Mountain West, which is not big-time football. They do not have drawing power for recruiting, as the BCS conferences all do. So Meyer leaves Utah and what do the Utes do? Promote their defensive coordinator to be the next head coach. Now, with 14 million dollars, and a very, very, very strong chance that your program is completely finished since your entire offensive system just moved to Gainesville, why wouldn't you go out and pay a top caliber coach, with name recognition, to come in there and keep the ball rolling? Folks, if you think anyone in Utah besides Urban Meyer had anything to do with that offense, or their success, you might need medication and I recommend you go see a doctor immediately. Utah is finished. They will never play in a BCS bowl ever again, and as soon as this season is over (2005), you won't even remember who Utah is. Unbelievable. Then you have the MAC, a conference that is getting good press this season and last. Almost every team in the MAC has a coach with less than 3 years of experience. Why? Because they want that money, and they seemingly want to compete for it. Only problem is, they don't have the pesos to hire someone like Butch Davis or Rick Neuheisel. So they go after an up and comer and hope for the best. Here's the thing: Western Michigan gets rid of their coach. Former NFL head coach Wayne Fontz, who spent years on the Detroit sideline, expresses interest in the vacancy. What that basically means is that Fontz will coach relatively cheaply, and WMU has the upper hand because THEY were contacted by Fontz. So they go out and hire Bill Cubit. Bill Cubit was the offensive coordinator at Stanford. When is the last time you heard anything good about Stanford? It was 1999 with Ty Willingham as the head coach. This is a ridiculous decision by WMU, but I guess you can't expect any more from a school named We are Masters of the Universe. BYU is also a team on the rise. After the Cougars and Utes had a tug-o-war match over Utah defensive coordinator Kyle Whittingham, the Cougars were forced to look elsewhere when they lost the battle. Even with 14 million dollars on the line, BYU decides not to pursue a coach with any name recognition, and to stick to some kind of ridiculous code of honor about hiring a Mormon coach. Guess what, guys... they're ain't many Mormons to begin with, let alone quality head coaches. Also, fellas, do the math. Lavell Edwards never would have won that national championship, or played for it, if today's system was in place. But let's be fair and keep in mind here that BYU isn't totally the bottom of the barrel. They do have some prestige left, and they do have sweet jerseys. So they promote their own defensive coordinator as head coach. Nice job. In case you live in a cave, BYU's defense is dog****. East Carolina is up next. While flirting with a Big East berth (a conference with a guaranteed BCS bid worth 14 million dollars), the Pirates decide it is not worth it to try and look like a more inticing candidate to the Big East. They decide it is not worth their while to get a coach who can attract some players and possibly have a winning season and bowl berth in 2005. They go out and hire Spanky Holtz, who was not only quickly shown the door by Steve Spurrier, but was also demoted by his own father. Excellent job, East Carolina. Way to go for the gold. Utah State fired Mike Dennehy, and no one cares or ever should. Utah State is going to be a member of the WAC now, and getting rid of Dennehy shows they are ready to start moving in the right direction. I don't remember who got the job, probably the first guy who raised his hand when they asked who wanted to coach at "Utah State". Charlie Weis took over at Notre Dame, good luck, you're gonna need it. Willingham took over at Washington, and good luck, because you are also going to need it. Harris goes to Stanford, and I'm sure they'll regret that almost as much as Pitt is going to regret dishing out an enormous amount of money to some joker like Dave Wannstedt. The only thing I am going to say about Ron Zook is the fact that Illinois just gave out 14 million dollars over 7 years to a guy who could not win games with the second best pool of talent in the United States. What do you think Zook is going to do with that terrible Illini team?
I stumbled across this woman's photo while looking up a picture of the new Temple helmets. She certainly has a unique and surprising hotness, but is probably a convicted murderer.
SUPRISES
It's hard not to give this one to Virginia Tech. Most folks had them finishing seventh in the ACC. They are playing great ball right now, and will give Auburn all they can handle. Other surprises worth mentioning are Alabama, who is possibly the best 6-5 team I've ever seen in college football. UTEP completely turned around, Louisville was much better than people thought, Marshall flopped completely, Virginia once again showed they are still not ready to win big games, West Virginia tanked just as hard as all sensible analysts thought they would, Maryland had a terrible season, and Pittsburgh (in my opinion) won the Big East. They weren't expected to be any higher than .500. Fresno State was also a big-time letdown. When is Pat Hill going to realize that he jinxs every one of his teams with his idiotic comments?
AWARD WINNERS
Heisman Trophy: We'll start with the big one. Matt Leinart takes home the 25 pound bronze statue. Hey, at least Jason White didn't win it, or Adrian Peterson. Whiet didn't deserve it because he's not the best quarterback in the country, and because his teeth are all rotten. Peterson didn't deserve it because he's the third best running back in the country. Alex Smith shouldn't even have been at that ceremony over Cedric Benson. Reggie Bush is clearly the best player in the country, but I can stomach Leinart, I suppose.
Maxwell Award: Supposedly given to the year's most outstanding player. Well, given that Jason White does one thing, and Reggie Bush dominated the regular season by doing 800 things, none of which could be stopped, you tell me who should have won the award. Also, Jason White needs to see a dentist, and possibly buy Rogaine.
Walter Camp Award: Supposedly given to the player of the year. Hmm, that sounds a lot like the Heisman. And the Maxwell. Leinart won, whatever.
Dick Butkus Award: Given to the best linebacker of the season. Derrick Johnson went home with it, and I can't argue with that.
Outland Trophy: Given to the best interior lineman. OU's Jammal Brown took it, no harm done.
Bednarik Award: Defensive player of the year, goes to David Pollack. Why have I seen 15 Georgia games and never seen Pollack do much of anything? But I have certainly heard about him, no doubt, 24 hours a day.
Davey O'Brien: National quarterback award, given in 04 to Jason White. Toothbrush not included.
Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award*: Jason White.
*Special Note: the Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award unfortunately does not include a dental plan.
Doak Walker: finally we see Cedric Benson.
Biletnikoff Award: Braylon Edwards. For all his accomplishments, I'll never forget that dropped 5 yard pass against Ohio State that cost them the game.
Jim Thorpe: Carlos Rogers.
John Mackey: this year's top tight end is Heath Miller.
Lou Groza: Mike Nugent. No relation to Ted, but there should definitely be squealing guitars and men shooting animals with bows everytime Mike makes a field goal.
Bronko Nagurski: Derrick Johnson
Ray Guy Award: Daniel Sepulveda from Baylor. He had a hell of a lot of practice.
Vince Lombardi Award: David Pollack. Hurray!
THE 2004 ANCIENT ENEMY AWARDS CEREMONY:
John SaSKa Award:
-Given to the player of the year who's name should be pronounced differently than it is spelled, or a player who has a great name:
Ibok Ibok -- LB -- UTEP
Toothbrush Award:
-Given to the player who needs to brush his teeth
Jason White -- QB -- Oklahoma
The Abe Kmetz Middle Tennessee State Trophy:
- Given to the best player from MTSU or the number one fan of the season. Must exemplify the meaning and essence of Murfreesboro, Tn.
Abe Kmetz -- "offensive lineman" -- "St. Francis"
Zack Mills Award:
- Given to a guy who has started for 3 or 4 seasons and not really done anything
Zack Mills -- QB -- Penn State
Alphonso the King of Texas presents "Alphonso's King of Texas" Award:
- Given to the best player from the state of Texas
Cedric Benson -- RB -- Texas
Flop-Artist of the Year Award:
- Given to the biggest flop of the season
Chris Rix -- QB -- Florida State
Bone-head Player of the Year Award:
- Given to the stupidest player of the year
Reggie Ball -- QB -- Georgia Tech
Cruk the Caveman Analyst presents "Cruk Award":
- Given to the player Cruk feels is the best player of the season
Baraka Atkins -- DE -- Miami
Walt Harris Trophy:
- Given to a player who's head coach gets another job because of the player's own on-field heroics
Tyler Palko -- QB -- Pittsburgh
Tom Landry's "Coach of the Year" Award:
- Given to the best coaching accomplishment of the season
Mike Price -- UTEP
Arms A-Plenty Award:
- Given to the player with the biggest arms on Earth
Robert McCune -- MLB -- Louisville
Craptacular Heisman Trophy:
- Given to the best player on a team who is 3-9 or worse
Walter Washington -- QB -- Temple
Here it is, folks... the big one...
The 2004 Awesome Elephant is...
University of Hawaii quarterback Timmy Chang
THE 2004 ALL-ENEMY TEAM:
1ST TEAM OFFENSE:
QB: Timmy Chang -- Hawaii
RB: Cedric Benson -- Texas
RB: Adrian Peterson -- Oklahoma
FB: Kevin Dudley -- Michigan
TE: Heath Miller -- Virginia
LINE: Oklahoma
WR: Mike Larkin -- Miami Ohio
WR: Chad Owens -- Hawaii
WR: Braylon Edwards -- Michigan
Specialist: Reggie Bush -- USC
1ST TEAM DEFENSE:
DL: Baraka Atkins -- Miami
DL: Erasmus James -- Wisconsin
DL: Marcus Spears -- LSU
DL: Demarcus Ware -- Troy
LB: Paul Posluszny -- Penn State
LB: Kevin Burnett -- Tennessee
LB: Derrick Johnson, Texas
DB: Antrel Rolle -- Miami
DB: Diamond Ferri -- Syracuse
DB: Reynaldo Hill -- Florida
DB: Dustin Fox -- Ohio State
2ND TEAM OFFENSE:
QB: Jason Campbell -- Auburn
RB: Ryan Moats -- Louisiana Tech
RB: Scooter McDougal -- Toledo
FB: Quadtrine Hill -- Miami
TE: Greg Olsen -- Miami
LINE: Auburn
WR: Roscoe Parrish -- Miami
WR: Craphonso Thorpe -- Florida State
WR: Dwayne Jarrett -- USC
Specialist: Ashlan Davis -- Tulsa
2ND TEAM DEFENSE:
DL: David Pollack -- Georgia
DL: Simon Frasier -- Ohio State
DL: Chris Canty -- Virginia
DL: Dan Cody -- Oklahoma
LB: Robert McCune -- Louisville
LB: Kirk Morrison -- San Diego State
LB: AJ Hawk -- Ohio State
DB: Alan Zemaitis -- Penn State
DB: EJ Underwood -- Ohio State
DB: Thomas Davis -- Georgia
DB: Ernest Shazor -- Michigan
Until next year, ladies.