Any good jokes?

[playbookboy06]

I know there are a few people who make it their goal to make people laugh with their posts, On that note, does anyone have any good jokes they've recently heard?

[playbookboy06]

There was a door to door salesman selling goods. He came to one house and a little child answered the door. He ask the little boy if his mommy was home. "yes she is," he said, "but she's busy humping a goat."
The salesman looks shocked and says, " you must be joking, now really where is your mommy?" The little boy says, "i'm not lieing, here follow me." so the little boy leads the salesman through the house and out to the back yard, and sure enough there is this women with a goat on her.
The salesman is in shock, he instantly says, " isnt she afraid that she'll get pregnant?"
The little boys replies...."naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

[S Cube]

whiteshoes im sure you have some excellent jokes for us... :lol:

[BillyWhiteShoesJohnson]

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

[captain dean]

Daisy and Molly cow are out standing in the pasture talking one day. Daisy says "hey Molly i got artificially insemenated this morning." Molly says "get out." Daisy said "straight up, no bull."

[4]

Dean I've heard you have some good pickup lines? Care to share how you meet all your ladies?

[Maverick3]

Of course asking the girl what time it is is a universal pick up line and a favorite of all the members of the HOB.

[playbookboy06]

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. A nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE……God is watching."

Further along the line, at the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note: "Take all you want……God is watching the apples."

[captain dean]

How do i meet women? I give them a wink and a smile. If that doesnt work i take them by force. I'll give you as many jokes as you would like but i wouldnt want you stealing my pickup lines.

[playbookboy06]

This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!" She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."