MAC Championship Not to Be Aired.

[The Ancient Enemy]

This weeks MAC title game features QB Luke Getsy for the Akron Zips, who just led an atrocious team to a championship game in one season. Getsy was not good enough to play at Pitt. The second best QB on that Pitt depth chart, Tyler Palko, will also be watching this game, undoubtably dropping random F-bombs and wearing a headband. He will be laid up on a gurney with his hips tied to the board because they still will not stop moving all around, since he had to run around all season like a chicken with its head cut off. Watching also will be Dave WannSPLAT, who may pick up some tips on how to be tacklin' good or how to make his players be runnin' faster. There is much speculation that the game will not even be televised in western Pennsylvania. Apparently, the TV executives are worried about the satellite transmissions not being able to penetrate the huge brick wall that Wanny has built around half of the state. TV executives everywhere have been trying desperately to contact Lloyd Carr on how to successfully infiltrate this vast and impregnable fortress. Wanny was contacted about this and is quoted as saying: "Hey, we just gotta be watchin' good. We be takin' good notes and eatin' Primanti Brothers sandwiches. Barry Sanders is a great running back. He's gonna give us a lot of fits when we play against him this weekend for control of the NFC North. My defensive plan is to run a 0-3-8 defense so we can be stoppin' him real good. Hopefully we can run real fast and catch him."