A Novel Idea.
Posted: February 2nd, 2006, 8:03 pm
Today, our old friend Punxatawney Phil saw his shadow, citing 6 more weeks of winter. I'll bet none of you hometown zeros I mean hometown heroes have ever seen Phil live, and some of you have probably never even seen Groundhog Day, which is in my top 4 movies with Training Day, Judgement Night, and Fright Night.
Top 4, dude.
Wouldn't it be nice if the big metropolis of Pittsburgh had a groundhog too? We could stick him in the worst part of the city so that it would give the decaying area some kind of cultural aspect. That makes Oakland a prime spot for such a cultural revolution, since the culture of Oakland is presently two-fold: 90 point losses to Ohio State, and having a restaurant (The infamous "O") which is singularly credited as being the murder capital of the world.
When asked if he'd be interested in making a sequel, this time featuring a groundhog in Pittsburgh, Bill Murray told me to go to Hell.
But we can't rip off Punxatawney too much, so we need to change the parameters a little bit. How about instead of some whacko in a top hat pulling him out of a tree stump, we get the Grand Wizard of Stupidville to yank him out of the hole in the ground that served as a toilet in that asinine Stephen Foster cabin on the Pitt campus? Instead of six more weeks for winter or the end of winter, Pittsburgh Pete can choose between tacklin' good or runnin' faster.
WannSPLAT shows his tremendous excitement over landing Dorin Dickerson. Kind of a conspicuous pose, Dave.
Top 4, dude.
Wouldn't it be nice if the big metropolis of Pittsburgh had a groundhog too? We could stick him in the worst part of the city so that it would give the decaying area some kind of cultural aspect. That makes Oakland a prime spot for such a cultural revolution, since the culture of Oakland is presently two-fold: 90 point losses to Ohio State, and having a restaurant (The infamous "O") which is singularly credited as being the murder capital of the world.
When asked if he'd be interested in making a sequel, this time featuring a groundhog in Pittsburgh, Bill Murray told me to go to Hell.
But we can't rip off Punxatawney too much, so we need to change the parameters a little bit. How about instead of some whacko in a top hat pulling him out of a tree stump, we get the Grand Wizard of Stupidville to yank him out of the hole in the ground that served as a toilet in that asinine Stephen Foster cabin on the Pitt campus? Instead of six more weeks for winter or the end of winter, Pittsburgh Pete can choose between tacklin' good or runnin' faster.
WannSPLAT shows his tremendous excitement over landing Dorin Dickerson. Kind of a conspicuous pose, Dave.