Deadeye Dick: Shoot'em If You Got'em!

[foghorn]

This is almost too easy! (Thank God the guy he shot is okay.) Anybody know any Aaron Burr jokes? Wonder what the NRA says about this? Shouldn't Cheney have to be "retrained?" Remember all those jokes a few years ago about Kerry and how lame he seemed at blood sports?

Let the excuses start...NOW!!

[foghorn]

"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." --David Letterman, on Cheney's shooting accident

"But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor." --David Letterman

"We can't get bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney." --David Letterman

"The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet." --David Letterman

"Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent." --Jay Leno

"I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'" --Jay Leno

"When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher. No, the other guy!" --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!" --Jay Leno

"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird." --Jon Stewart

"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted - it's just not worth it." --Jon Stewart

"He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right." --Craig Ferguson

"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" --Craig Ferguson

"The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep." --Craig Ferguson

"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past." --Craig Ferguson

"You know what they say, if Dick Cheney comes out of his hole and shoots an old man in the face, six more weeks of winter." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The Vice President says that it was an accident. He claims the guy got in his line of fire, but the good news was he was delicious. Eat what you shoot!" --Jimmy Kimmel

"This is a great story. You've got the Vice President, a shotgun, a bunch of rich guys hunting tiny little birds. The only thing that could possibly make this story better is if he shot Michael Jackson." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The man who was shot is named Harry Whittington. He's a high powered Republican lawyer, he was very lucky. They say the only reason that he wasn't killed is he was wearing the body armor that never got shipped to our troops." --Jimmy Kimmel

"But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his deal with the devil." --Jimmy Kimmel

"So in summary, the Vice President of the United States shot a 78-year-old man in the face. Congratulations Mister Vice President, you are now a Crip." --Jimmy Kimmel

[Captain Coveman]

I find it hard to find humor in a hunting accident. It could have unfortunately happened to any of us on here that hunt. I see it as a real wake up call to leave zero room for error when out hunting with a group of friends. If he would have dropped an unloaded gun and broke his toe then I would probably find it funny, but not when it involves potentially killing someone.

[foghorn]

Oh, give me a break! Twice I came within a gnat's eyelash, as Bob Prince used to say, of getting shot while hunting. And one of my uncles accidently shot and killed a guy while duck hunting many years ago. But I think this is more than a cautionary tale, for heaven's sake.

Let me spell it: I-R-O-N-Y.

[TheAnalyst]

Bet that guy is really laughing now that he had a heart attack!!!

I did think this was amusing at first, because the guy wasn't seriously hurt, and yes the irony of it all. But apparently the wounds are worse than first thought. Not so funny now.

[foghorn]

I know one thing: if it was a goddamn high profile "liberal" who shot someone, you guys would be all over it. The ironic humor isn't about the shootee -- it's about the shooter. Don't be so freaking sacrosanct!

Greek drama, which made tragedy into the greatest art form in Western Civilization, brimmed with various types of humor.

Hmm...supposedly some of the shot worked into a blood vessel or artery (according to latest reports) and brought on a minor heart attack. No humor here -- just never heard of such a thing happening before.

[Captain Coveman]

I disagree, I don't think many would make fun of anyone getting shot or being the shooter here. As you said you came close, so have I, and we know it is not a laughing matter Liberal or Conservative.

[LionPride]

[quote="foghorn";p="118336"]Oh, give me a break! Twice I came within a gnat's eyelash, as Bob Prince used to say, of getting shot while hunting. And one of my uncles accidently shot and killed a guy while duck hunting many years ago. But I think this is more than a cautionary tale, for heaven's sake.

Let me spell it: I-R-O-N-Y.[/quote]

With that track record, I'm going to paint my car orange - I drive past foggy's house almost every day.

Hey foggy - like the new Ann quote?

[foghorn]

What can I say, LP? I come from Claysburg, where it's "Shoot first and ask questions later." My Dad and I were about ten feet apart finishing up a day of hunting when three bullets came whistling right above our heads. I've never been in war, but I know what it's like to be shot at. And it t'wenrt no birdshot. My Dad had to take about five nitro pills.

You're safe on my stretch of 30. At least until the next election.

[LionPride]

[quote="foghorn";p="118378"]What can I say, LP? I come from Claysburg, where it's "Shoot first and ask questions later." My Dad and I were about ten feet apart finishing up a day of hunting when three bullets came whistling right above our heads. I've never been in war, but I know what it's like to be shot at. And it t'wenrt no birdshot. My Dad had to take about five nitro pills.

You're safe on my stretch of 30. At least until the next election.[/quote]

I too was deer hunting once as a youngster when a group of guys below me started blasting at doe's. I was in a ground stand and could hear the bullets whistling by, hitting trees all around me (above me though). They couldn't see me, and I couldn't see them, but needless to say, I made myself as small as I could. It's a very defenseless position to be in.

I'll be sure to stop and place a few anti-Hillary signs in your yard in 2008.