How Do You like Being Slapped in the Back of the Head?
Posted: September 25th, 2007, 4:14 pm
Joe Paterno, who's record versus top 25 teams, as well as his record versus Michigan, the smartest man in college football, said today in that press conference that he is satisfied with his offense so far this season.
Since it has basically become my quest in life to show ignorant Penn State fans a little bit of insight, let me translate for you exactly what he is saying here.
"The critics keep blasting the offense, which is the nice way of saying that our garbage coaching staff is as bad as everyone knows it is. My genius son, who has done nothing productive since his first day in Happy Valley, in fact has hurt our quarterbacks tremendously, is a member of that staff. I don't want people coming out and and putting one and one together in the press, even though they already do it in their heads. So, basically, I am going to have to pretend like my kid isn't a complete moron, so that he doesn't get the criticism he deserves. I don't want to hurt his feelings, even though he is an integral reason why this program has every piece of the puzzle in place to be a national powerhouse, and refuses to take the next step."
Either that, or:
"I really have no idea what even happens, I didn't even know Chris Bell played last season, which was illustrated in this year's Town and Gown magazine."
Let me tell you something about Jay Paterno. Jay Paterno was the clown who, during those years PSU struggled, invented a very intelligent recruiting philosophy: "We are not going to recruit people, we're going to let people come and tell us they want to play here." I wish I was making that up.
I challenge all PSU fans, or anyone in general, to give me one example of something Jay Paterno has contributed to this football program.
Since it has basically become my quest in life to show ignorant Penn State fans a little bit of insight, let me translate for you exactly what he is saying here.
"The critics keep blasting the offense, which is the nice way of saying that our garbage coaching staff is as bad as everyone knows it is. My genius son, who has done nothing productive since his first day in Happy Valley, in fact has hurt our quarterbacks tremendously, is a member of that staff. I don't want people coming out and and putting one and one together in the press, even though they already do it in their heads. So, basically, I am going to have to pretend like my kid isn't a complete moron, so that he doesn't get the criticism he deserves. I don't want to hurt his feelings, even though he is an integral reason why this program has every piece of the puzzle in place to be a national powerhouse, and refuses to take the next step."
Either that, or:
"I really have no idea what even happens, I didn't even know Chris Bell played last season, which was illustrated in this year's Town and Gown magazine."
Let me tell you something about Jay Paterno. Jay Paterno was the clown who, during those years PSU struggled, invented a very intelligent recruiting philosophy: "We are not going to recruit people, we're going to let people come and tell us they want to play here." I wish I was making that up.
I challenge all PSU fans, or anyone in general, to give me one example of something Jay Paterno has contributed to this football program.
